my life problems

17 April 2022

(I can't/don't want to give most information  of my life and please dont ask country,age etc.)Today was a great day(at first)it was holiday and I already finished all of my homework,all I was gonna go to sport come back and relax and it was a great time before I saw a message(after sport)

Explanation:I have 3 best friends from school one of them is my child hood friend.let's call child hood friend Alex,the second Diana and the third destiny(it's not their real name ofc)

Alex texted that she and Diana secretly met without me and destiny this broke my heart piece into piece and broke me apart because we wanted to meet last time but destiny said she was busy at the last time and then Diana said she will not go and I said nothing cuz I didn't want to hurt them but I knew it was so so rare to us to meet(Alex said nothing too)

when they said that,they said sorry too but they actually didn't care.it was cuz how they texted I know them so good.after we talked about not meeting I was overthinking and eating myself alive.I cared about these things too much!and they did that to me?!(destiny doesn't care about anything but nice)

I already have said how I felt and Diana helped me that time but now what happened,what happened to her that she can do this?..after a time Alex wrote and said

I didn't say anything about not meeting and you were the one saying gloomy things and we already said sorry

SHE DOESNT CARE ABOUT İT YET SHE DİDNT CARE ABOUT ANYTHİNG EXPECT HER DC FRİENDS (my opinion)and then I watched a film to make myself more happy.after a while she texted me in person and said sorry again and then I felt she kinda Mean it?and I said

ig it's okay but I didn't forgive diana.she didn't say anything and I thought she said it to Diana and it's probably correct.and Diana texted me in person saying how she felt and I said

I felt like when I was in primary school.she didn't understand cuz I didn't tell everything about my past but if I Told this to Alex she would knew.and she said sorry again I said

lying to me backstabbing me and making my psychology bad.and I deleted it but she saw she said

But we didn't lie we were only being quiet.i said

You're saying let's not go to the meeting cuz destiny is not coming and then you accept going to meeting with her maybe you even asked her.and here I am trying to be perfect for you.im always carbing and I'm feeling guilty.she said

You don't have to be perfect we love you and you are a good friend,we are only just guilty.i said

I'm always eating myself and I always feel guilty..I only live for you guys it's nothing expect it.and saying sorry again and stuff I said

Sorry I always make things a big deal.and she comforted me,I said that I found myself guilty but I found them too they dont care about anything!but anything!she said

I think we should talk it personal with the others.and I said I can't talk any problems personal and that I forgive them but I lost my trust.she said

I would ask her(destiny)in the break time and wouldn't involve you guys more in it.i said thanks and said gn

(Sorry about writing if you're uncomfortable about it,I say it again please don't say anything but anything about me thank you!and thanks for reading!622 words wow)