strawb & cigs / t.kei

iv

WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THE PAST─

.....

how did I fall for her again?

ah I remember now.

it all started in elementary school. l/n y/n, she was a new student that transferred during the mid terms and she got placed in my class. she was known as the quiet girl but she was really kind. she was fragile and soft like a bunny, too gullible just like the rest of us, including me.

after 2 weeks in school, everyone already likes her since she always help others. even the smallest things as helping to buy food, supplies and boring stuff. but she didn't mind at all, she was so pure.

in my 2nd year, something happen. not that i know off, a year of observing her one day, she came to school with bruises on her face and on her legs. Most people were concerned about her, but she gave the same cherry smile she always had and told them that she was fine.

hell she was fine, i knew something is wrong. during breaks, I finally muster up the courage to approach her. I offered her a packet of cold milk and she happily took the gift. Since then, we became quite close and to be frank, it was one of my best moments in my life.

we talked about many things, school, life , about what food we're going to eat the next day and volleyball. its just the normal things ,she doesn't know this but i've always liked our little conversations.

many months has past, our relationship grew by a lot. however, one day , i found out about my brother's secret and the truth. I was lost, devastated. the joy in volleyball, my love for it immediately vanished.

after knowing about how naive i can be, i became cold and slient. I didn't smile like i used to, the passion i use to have is all gone.

-----

despite changing my whole character, you always stayed by my side. giving me snacks when I'm hungry or when I needed help you have always been there.

my heart flutters everytime you laugh but I didn't show it, everything about you is just perfect. how you sparkle when you smile or when you always reach out to help others.

I felt so lucky to have someone like you, someone so patient despite my rudeness and harsh words. so finally, I made up my mind to confess. before the day of confession, I wrote down a letter and expressed how i felt about you and sure enough, i would give you the next day.

things changed when the teachers say that you have left school due to important stuff and you couldn't attend anymore  and I also heard from your neighbours that you have moved out from your house to the states. 

I broke down when i heard the news, i crushed the letter in my hand as hot tears drops from my eyes. I hate it, everyone is the same i thought you were special. I thought we wouldn't meet again until high school.

I saw your face while punching a 3rd year's face, since he looked way older than the rest of us. His face was full of blood and he was scared shirtless and begged for mercy. You grabbed his collar and continued to punch his face while laughing with your two other friends.

I was horrified at least, you were the last person that i think would hurt someone, especially someone that is more superior. after so many years, I have finally reunited with you but

you had changed, a lot. By a lot I really mean a lot. You don't have your usual braids with your cute glasses. Now, you weren't wearing glasses and your hair is dyed to (colour), instead of that angelic smile of yours, you had a sickening grin while your friends were taking pictures and laughing with you.

your eyes were pure evil that's I see, you mocked him and manipulated him by making him feel guilty. once you were satisfied, you dropped him on the floor and innocently left like you didn't beat the shit out of him.

no..that can't be you. the y/n I know wouldn't hurt a fly at all. you've so different now. well, at least we are on the same page now. But I still don't know how to feel. I told myself ive moved on but my heart tells me otherwise.

I planned to make a move to talk to you during class time, I saw you in the library trying to pick out of book from the top shelf i knew this was the chance to speak to you. I walked towards you and took the book.

you glared at me and started insulting me to give you the book, I didn't get used to the new you but I played along and said no. You cursed and walked away while stomping your way out of the library.

damn, did you forget about me already?  another moment when you were hanging out with your friends I decided to tease you a bit, maybe that can trigger your memory.

" LA LA LA LA ELMOS-( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) " , " ugh please stop it " , you looked behind and saw me. you gave a disgusted face while replying, 

" how's the weather up there ugly? hope ur ugly face gets hit and become even more ugly hah.", you gave me a fake smile and turned back to your friends. I wasn't surprised but this was kinda amusing. 

after not seeing you for a long time, being treated by the new you was kind of refreshing somehow. Not that I dislike it, but it's very fun to see. since you couldn't remember me, I decided to welcome myself and ignore the past, for now.

END OF CHAPTER iv