Dance Like Crazy | SKZ 9th Member

2.

"Sunny ! Did you read the comments ?" A bubbly Seungmin bursts in my room and shoves his phone in my face.

"Not yet, did you ?" I push his phone away. "Not so close."

"Yeah, it's funny. Some of their theories are good but most of them are way off track. Look !" He hands me his phone. It's the Twitter post including the tracklist for "5-STAR", our next album. I don't really want to read those, every comeback it's the same old shit. Haters hate and I get hurt, but since Seungmin is asking... I scroll through the comments.

@bvngtvnhoe s-class stands for sun class y'all, our queen

@nosuninhere sun if u see this, leave skz :)
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> @onmyyeezys how about you stfu

@sunsungslays dlc was written by changbin AND sun, this one is gonna be so good

@chansbabygirl collision would've been better if han wrote it without her
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> @strengthkids you haven't even heard the song yet stupid

@joajoajoahhj super bowl wtf is that ?

@binsbiceps y'all youtiful is gonna make us cry
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> @whatdoesinsay watch it be the ballad of the century

@urbehaviourr fnf ? what does that mean ? sounds badass

@letskillthissun all the songs sun wrote will flop she's ruining it

"Right, it's funny. Thanks Seungminie !" I give him his phone back and fake a smile, something I'm really good at. He giggles and leaves the room. My smile disappears and turns into a frown. I shouldn't be affected by this kind of comments, I know it damn well. But here I am, feeling like a total failure again because of them. The more I think of it, the worst I feel. My head is full of bad thoughts. My heart beats faster and faster every second.

"It's fine, I'll be fine." I say aloud. "Fuck..."

My eyes get watery and soon tears stream down my face. I grab tissues on the desk and use plenty of them, throwing them directly in the trashcan. Someone knocks at my door but my breathing is so sharp I can't answer. Minho opens the door anyways. He approaches me cautiously and sits beside me.

"I'll go get Chan Hyung. I don't wanna deal with you right now." Typical Minho. He was about to stand up but I caught the cotton fabric of his shirt in my hand. I press my cheek against his chest and concentrate on his heartbeat. I'm surprised he doesn't push me away. When my breathing finally comes back to normal, I let go of his shirt feeling embarrassed since him and I aren't used to this kind of skinship at all.

"Sorry... You can go now." I sniffle, looking down at my feet.

"O-Okay" He stands up with rosy cheeks and leaves in a hurry. He must've been flustered. Or annoyed. You never know with him.

A few minutes later, Chan is by my side. He's silently stroking my hair waiting for me to speak up.

"You remember how hard it was for me back when we debuted ?"

"I do, it was terrible. You ended up crying practically every night, you had horrible nightmares. The boys and I were so worried about you. How could I forget ?" He looks at me with worry in his eyes. Chan is always concerned about me and the younger members. He's an amazing leader and caring friend, I respect him for that.

"What's wrong Soonyoung ? You can tell me, maybe I can help you. Is it about our comeback ?" He gently lifts up my chin forcing me to meet his eyes.

"People are so cruel. It's like they don't realize there's actually another human being behind the screen or they just don't fucking care at all and it makes me mad. Chan, I'm so disappointed in them. Not our Stays but those fake ones, you know. I thought after all these years they'd accept me as a member of Stray Kids. I thought they'd calm down with the ugly comments but they don't. Every time we have a comeback, every time I hug one of you and they catch it on camera, it's the same old shit. I'm tired of it." I let it all out. That's how it goes when I have deep conversations with him. He hugs me tight, maybe a bit too tight but I don't care if I can barely breathe, I feel safe in his strong arms.