MONTAGE. - g.st + c.ym

one.

okay so this isnt the best but i hope you enjoy it regardless lol

title is that of a onewe track (banger, listen to it)

》》》

Youngmin could remember it, that moment something stirred within his - then metaphysical? spiritual? - ghost-self's chest. A contortion behind his ribs he knew wasn't a heart attack but could have very well been the warning signs of one. A maybe justified diagnosis for him to make as it was, in fact, a premonition of a slow-building disturbance within.

Something had unmistakably changed, morphed within the space around him like a glowing mist, turning the homely scent of disinfectant and cold metal his nostrils were far too famiiliar with into something sweeter. The air between him and Seungtak had changed, and he didn't know when, who started the process of metamorphosis, but it had begun and, fuck, whilst it was terrifying, unnerving, it swirled something magma-hot in his stomach, made his eyes linger on the younger resident just as Seungtak's own did on the professor.

He tried to excuse his hands subconsciously drifting to imitate caressing a sleeping Tak's cheek as longing to feel against his fingertips, he tried to brush away his waning desire to constantly be by Sejin's side to rather follow Tak around by believing he was lonely, needed to be with someone who could see and hear him, speak with him. If only he could touch him, too.

He hadn't realised how clingy he'd become until Seungtak had directly teased him about it offhandedly, tone mirthful; yet, somehow, his irises showed that there was something else beneath it all. Nerves, interest, curiosity. A mix, Youngmin had rapidly decided in the back of his mind, at that moment distracted by the wolfish grin pulling on Seungtak's soft face.

And then Tak took a step closer, followed by another, hands casually in his white lab coat's pockets and smile fixedly plastered while he cornered an abruptly helpless Youngmin deeper into the dorm room. Deeper, until the ghost's back hit the wall just beside the bunk beds and he became trapped, blinking wide eyed at Seungtak who outwardly appeared unphased.

The resident didn't stop until they were at risk of touching, gold sparks like ashes of a burning flame floating between them, around them, in the heavily darkened room and shit, Youngmin's doubts were entirely squashed right that moment - he did feel something for Seungtak, though he'd still rather not label it.

"Well, professor?"

Seungtak's taunting question sounded weighted, voice a whisper and his hot breath fanning across Youngmin's not-really-there skin which, actually, was very unfair because being a ghost should've aided him in situations like those. He'd gotten lost in his head again and Tak noticed, his smile turning warm as he relinquished his upper hand and took a miniscule step back. Youngmin hadn't been aware but his shoulders, which had risen defensively, gradually dropped in ease and a stuttered puff of air left from his mildly parted lips.

Tak looked to him at the sound, their stare smouldering and important, and then the younger broke it off, dropping his sight much lower with a gloomy sigh. Setting his head askew and following his line of vision, Youngmin saw that Tak had been gazing thoughtfully at the professor's hands then clenched into fists at his sides.

"You must miss being able to touch things, huh?"

It sounded more like a rhetorical question but Youngmin still gave a belated nod of his head, the silence too empty to be left as it was, and returned to studying Seungtak's facial features painted sympathetic and sad. He didn't really enjoy being looked at so pitifully but before he could let that train of thought proceed, Tak was speaking again.

"You must miss being able to touch Sejin."

And this statement sounded much less certain than the previous one, almost prodding, hopeful as the brunet's eyes fluttered up, reciprocating the analytical look as Youngmin tried to school his face deadpan. He did want to touch Sejin, he loved her - god did he love her - but things had changed, both of them had grown into their new skin that no longer held the residue of one another's imprint, and whilst the want to care for her was still there, it came from a place not romantic.

Youngmin's lips separated again, half syllables fumbling off the tip of his tongue in such an embarrassing way that Seungtak was smirking at him, amused, the pensive shade having dissipated from his face.

"I wish I'd felt your hands better the first time we met," He confessed, unabashed, "I miss being able to feel them now."

Tak then swivelled on his heels and strutted out of the room, throwing a quick wave at the rattled professor before shutting the door behind him.

Ten, twenty, and by the thirtieth second Youngmin moved from against the wall only to slump down to the ground in a heap of long limbs, eyes blindly fixating on the icy floor tiles beneath him, mind lagging to process the previous happenings. Folding his legs inwards, he brought his hands before his eyes and looked at them in bewilderment. Now that he thought of it, he could still recall the soft warmth that pertained to Seungtak's own from their strange first encounter and now ... now Tak divulges he wants to touch him again? Youngmin felt dizzy.

Time went on and with the bettering of his condition, with Seungtak doing his damn best and bouncing around like an overly excited puppy at every improvement, Youngmin awoke, foggy brained and disoriented in his hospital bed.

It was strange to perceive the room he'd been in for so long from the spot on the thin mattress rather than from a standing point of view, from where he could see his own comatose body. Through the haze in his eyes and the white noise in his ears he could hear the commotion around him: Sejin's face streaked with tears of relief as she called out to him, Seungtak full on weeping through a brilliant smile as he clutched onto Youngmin's gown, doctors running to and fro, calling for stats and other jargon he could only presume. And with the world spinning, it suddenly crashed to a halt.

He could feel Sejin's fingers shakily carding through his hair, he could feel Seungtak's grip on his hand, thumbs soothingly stroking his skin, fingers pressing into his palm, and the heat of it all had his body aflame before the next realisation hit: he was awake and remembered everything. He remembered every detail of his time as a spirit, his time saving lives from within another's body, his time with the owner of said body who was now looking at him with repressed emotions sewn between an expression of joyous relief, as though he too had assumed Youngmin wouldn't remember their nurtured closeness and believed his raw self would push the professor away.

"Seung-" He croaked, gasped at the dryness of his throat, the dead weight of his tongue, and Sejin was telling him to not speak yet, to drink first, fretting, but Youngmin had to tell Seungtak that he remembered, he had to tell him so that he'd stop that seed of loss from sprouting within the younger.

He returned the strong hold on Seungtak's hand, a gesture that had the brunet look at him with rounded eyes before dots seemed to connect in his head and he went to let go, as if Youngmin had berated him for still gripping onto him. Youngmin refused with whatever strength he had, however, desperate for a reason he couldn't necessarily place.

Did he not want Seungtak to experience the same feeling of being left behind that he had years ago? Did he not want to pretend to not remember everything even though it could be an escape route from these blossoming feelings inside him? Wouldn't it be easier that way, though? No more internal struggles, no more questioning, no more pondering the meaning of every look or action Seungtak gave or took in regards to him. He could go back to suppressing everything, being alone, being emotionless.

Truly, his primary reaction to understanding that what he was experiencing was quite possibly a crush, was the forceful urge to suppress and bury it, deny its existence. Trying to open up to someone new was a risk, petrifying.

He wanted to try.

With eyes glistening in certainty, gaze still locked with that of a shocked resident, he forced out, "Tak, I remember."