Two Wrongs

Off Limits, Soldier: Liam

Apparently even drinking water around this girl was going to be impossible. Which was evident by the fact that I damn near died when she strolled in my patio door in sky high heels and a silver, glittery party... napkin.

My eyes went wide as I coughed and choked and sputtered like I'd just swallowed a whole swarm of bees. My eyes watered, I couldn't get myself to stop, and I very nearly puked on my floor. Yeah, I sure looked real suave movie star in that moment.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WEARING?!" I shrieked like a teenage girl who'd just caught her bff wearing the same homecoming dress.

Allegra just looked at me, very clearly trying to not burst out laughing at my quickly approaching demise. "I believe you requested something hot that you could, and I quote, 'imagine me giving a blowjob in'."

"I WASN'T... SERIOUS!" Speaking while hacking your entire catalog of internal organs out wasn't easy. I managed to take a deep breath and turn my hacking into softer, less constant sputters. "Jesus fucking Christ!"

"What?! You don't like it?" Allegra giggled as she teetered on her clear heels and spun in a little circle. The top was literally only a loosely draped piece of silver sequins, nothing but a thin string wrapped around her back attempting to hold it into place. Which, P fucking S, it wasn't working. When she spun, the fabric kicked up and I definitely got an eyeful of my best friend's little sister's tits. Which, I mean, I already had, but he didn't need to fucking know that.

Nor did she.

The skirt was no better. It was like a second layer of skin and barely long enough to cover her ass. I made a mental note that if she dropped anything, I was going to be the one picking it up. Guys were douches everywhere, but guys at LA bars were another fucking level. I might've been a player, a cad, in many cases, a complete dirtbag, but I wasn't fucking dangerous. I at least had that much self-control.

I groaned and scrubbed my hands over my face. I was fucking dead man. If I walked into the party with his little sister looking like... well, like a girl I would, at any other point in life, try to fuck, Joey Reynolds was going to straight up murder me. In front of everyone. In public, on fucking display. And I had a sinking suspicion a lot of our mutual friends would let him get away with it.

"I didn't... goddammit."

"What's wrong? I think it's cute."

"It... it's like... fucking paper towels! But sparkly! Being held on by a string of tinsel! What the fuck? Are you trying to get me killed?"

Allegra just let out an airy giggle. "Why would how I'm dressed get you killed?"

"You obviously don't know your brother," I mumbled. Before I could say more, however, my phone pinged in my pocket and I let out a growl. "That's our car. No time to change."

"Good. I wasn't going to anyway." Allegra pranced by me, swiping the extra water bottle from the entryway table, and heading out the door.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I wasn't exactly a religious man, but if I needed to find God to survive this night, I was damn sure going to do it.

Unfortunately, my version of God probably resided between that girl's thighs.

We got to Oak, a little rustic bistro, around seven thirty. Most of Sadie's party guests wouldn't be arriving until we hit the bars, but a select few were invited to dinner first. Joey, me, Allegra, some of the folks she worked with.

Sadie worked at a tattoo shop, Skin. She'd started out as the receptionist was currently apprenticing as an artist. I knew her boss, Callum, because he'd done a few of my pieces. I wasn't covered in tattoos like he was, but I had a few secretly placed ones. I'd probably have more if it wouldn't cost me jobs to do so.