Even when you're down

Chapter 1

My mouth is dry and I feel kinda horny honestly. I'm training with a Sanemi and his abs are showing, sweat running down his toned chest. All the scars covering his body remind me of the one I loved long ago and was unable to protect because of my own weakness. So I watched him die which was probably not good for my already very unstable mental health.  I mean probably cutting the shit out of your arms and legs on a daily basis is pretty unhealthy. I literally can't stop tho, it makes me feel better about all the people I let die. I can't bring myself to end it tho because Sabito said if I did it he would never forgive me and to keep moving. So that's what I do. And that's what lead me here to the hashira and this train match with Sanemi (aka that hottie of the demon slayer corps). I put on my most expressionless face (which is saying a lot) and wait to start the round. He lunges at me and I block with my sword. He swipes to my neck and I lash back to hard, shattering both swords into shimmering shards of metal. S drop my hilt to the ground feeling my stomach clench as Sanemi looks like he might murder me. I might want to die but not at his hands (also he would get fired from the corps). Is shape ass demon teeth grind together in a evil smile that came straight out of hell (What I said about him being hot earlier I take that back). His fist punches his palm as he says "now that our swords are broken shall we pumble each other to death with our fist?!" Yeah the way he said that was extremely hot! I push back blush and get ready for a fight that might be the death of me in several ways when a voice screams "stop it you 2! It's not worth it!" Tanjiro. Ugh!!! Sanemi was about to tackle me! Why did this kid have to come and shit on everything. Why did I vogue my life on him? "Tanjiro were not really fighting." I say I'm my usual monotone. You know what maybe it's for the best that tanjiro interrupted us cause I planned to tell Sanemi something that only one person knows. That person is non other than Shinobu Kocho who found out when tending to my wounds. That lesbian bitch started cackling like a fucking lunatic what she saw my boobs that I bound up with bandages. I have to give the shortie some credit because they promised not to tell anyone and to make sure no one finds out I'm not a cis man. We kinda started hanging out (against my will) and she is just as depressed as I am (and equally gay). They haven't let me down yet so why am I reskinning telling this lunatic. Anyway tanijro is looking quite embarrassed for his intrusion and Sanemi might comment murder. But he doesn't, instead he huffs, turns around and walks off, leaving me alone with Tanjiro...