Deadpool's Advice Column

Question #1

The first question is by khadijiah1 and she asks "What is the best way to get noticed by someone?"

Well, well I see that you wish to be noticed by someone
According to my research there are multiple ways

If if is a "romantic" form of being noticed I recommend the K technique

No the K technique isn't the Klondike Bar technique (although that one is quite a tasty treat, technique)
And it isn't the KKK technique (seriously through, Kool Kids Klub)
And it isn't the Kristen Stewart technique (team Jacob all the way!)

I think we should get back to the question

You make a good point, voice in my head!
Anyways the K technique is also known as the k-word technique.
Or the Unalive technique, dismemberment, death.

There are two ways to perform this technique:

The first is to k-word the person, they will defiantly notice you.
If you want them to notice you even more when you are unaliving them, you can use theatricality. Fireworks, pyrotechnics, candles, chimichangas and of course ME!

Another way to use the k technique is to k-word lots of people in front of the person you are trying to get to notice you.
Whether it be friends, family members or strangers, try to k-word as many people as you can in front of that person and they will defiantly notice you.

Grandma at a family reunion? UNALIVE HER
Insurance agent? UNALIVE
Chicken in a farm? UNALIVE IT
NEWBORN BABY? UNALIVE IT (too far?)

I guarantee that if you use the K technique this person will most certainly notice you

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INTERMISSION!
THIS COLUMN WAS SPONSORED BY KLONDIKE, THE KKK AND TEAM JACOB
(It actually wasn't please don't sue me for referencing you, all rights reserved)
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WELCOME BACK!
Now I will talk about a second technique commonly referred to as the Creeper

Before you can successfully pull this of you first need:

Five strands of this person's hair

Their soul

A Deapool T-Shit (I mean shirt. OR DO I?)

Uranus (the planet, you perverts!)

And a chimichanga

Now once you have these things you follow this person around wherever you go. Eventually they call the cops and you go to jealous. But don't worry! They noticed you!

I think we should talk about why creeping is wrong. Ya'know, for the kids.

Right!
Kids gather around and Uncle Wade will tell you a story about why creeping is wrong.

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away, there was a Doctor, who had a companion named Watson and a girlfriend named Juliet, he also piloted the Enterprise.

The moral of the story is...
I'M DEADPOOL BITCHES
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So guys this is Deadpool's advice column
Feel free to ask your questions and DEADPOOL will answer them
Please comment, like and share
Whoa, whoa what the hell are you doing in here?
CRASH!
Give me that back!
NOOOOOO...

Hello hoes, I'm DEADPOOL now make sure you read this and ask your miserable question or I will UNALIVE you

I'm gonna UNALIVE you anyways but your opinions are appreciated

BYE!