blood must shed for time to reset

chapter 15

( my beloved

my beloved?

beloved. )

   —CIRCE SAT ON THE
porch of Peter's holiday home, cigarette in her right hand, other being used to flip through a book with nonchalance. The rain before her was crashing down hard now, and as she drew a breath and inhaled the nicotine, she almost felt like throwing herself into the center of the violent storm. Of soaking herself wet until she was so cold she swore she'd gotten ill, and the rest of her worries were clouded with miniscule illnesses and the bitter April weather.

  It was early morning, and she'd spent the entirety of the night pulling through her plans on Praesidium, smoking a shit ton of fags and listening to David Bowie's vinyls until they scratched exhaustion.

   The prior morning, Regulus had came and told her of his plans to meet Lucile at a Hogsmeade cafe, under the form of a stranger. It was a safe idea, though it could've been irrational and Circe still wouldn't of had the obligation to prevent it from occuring. She'd never push that authority over Regulus, and anyways, he could handle himself.

  But it did upset her.

   Lucile clearly loved him, and if he were to reciprocate these feelings, everything would be deemed easier. They could have a life, and Circe Einar could die frigid and omitted. Morbid, albeit it did make her feel a little comfortable, for it would mean her appearance didn't cause such irreversible disaster.

  But however relieving this outcome was, she never wanted it to, truly, happen.

   Hadn't she sacrified enough for Regulus Black?

   The cigarette faded, ashy and used up, and she grew the shivers. In Circe went, trudging her feet across the carpet with little energy. It felt like movement was too much of a task for her. And really, it was. Her body ached, mentally and physically, and she'd prolonged her own tiredness for months now.

  In Praesidium she was being exploited, sure, but she always managed to get atleast eight hours of sleep. Since departing the bleak establishment? Well, she was just glad if her mind went static for a little, nevermind actual rest. It felt like every slumber was laced with serrated dreams, and as she woke in a fit of sweats, she would experience more lassitude than before.

   How could she escape this? She was powerful, being the blood of a goddess, but she was still human. Not even she could put a pause on her mental health. Not permanently, at least.

   That night, after a brisk shower and a moment's hesitation in the mirror, she fell to sleep besides Regulus. Their skin not touching and their contact scarce. It proved confusing to label their relationship, and even Circe ( able to spindle knowledge out of thin air ) struggled to understand where they were, or what they were.

  It wasn't like they weren't together, yet at the same time, they hardly proved a couple. The two weren't dysfunctional, they merely struggled to talk when their worlds were inches away from falling apart. The last Horcruxes still hadn't been found, Praesidium continued to dominate, and there was a hesitancy filling up the large space between them.

   They trusted each other with their lives, albeit they were scared to seem overbaring.

   Marlene came over at 7am sharp, and got to work spinning around Circe's schemes. She ordered all of the Einar's potential spells, complying them into one document and then marking the parchment with sections. She tidied the board hanging from the living room by removing any anomalous labels and notes. She then began to think about ways around entering the building; it seemed unsuitable for Regulus to swim through a load of predators. Or swim at all.