"Okay, let me break this to you. But she's never been good for you." Jake said which I intentionally ignored.
"Okay," he said firmly and pursed his mouth, "Yow, Ethan! Connor!" the twins' head both appeared above the seat.
"What?" Connor said.
"A little help here?" Jake jerked his head towards me. I saw him do that because I was glaring at him.
"Oh yeah, sure." Ethan said a little excitedly, like it's his life long dream to mess me. They both shuffled out of the couch and jumped on my couch.
Okay, maybe I should explain this first. In Jake's house, the guest room and the television room is two different rooms, but it is connected by a short passage full of photographs taped on the walls. Jake's mom is like that.
"Okay, let's count the pros and cons of you," he made sure to put a strong stress on that word. "dating that dragon-face."
"Rachel." I corrected him. I'm telling you, sometimes my friends act like a total dillweeds.
"Okay, pros?" Jake nudged Ethan.
"Yeah, it's all your 'i love her' drama, and your future family and wife bullshit. In short? It's all in your head." Ethan said in a very mocking tone that it almost --almost-- hit a nerve. And he's twirling his fingers around his ears ridiculously fast.
"Well, " I heard myself speaking up. "She's really fun to be with." I tried.
But, Jake just snorted. "You just thought it was fun because you thought you love her."
"Naaah, I really think he had so much fun with her." I looked over to Connor and he have this stupid sly smile on his face that I so badly want to punch off of his face, but instead I grinned.
"Well, " I tried again. " She is a darn good kisser." I was grinning so hard. Darn it.
"That," Jake pointed pointed out "if you like kissing colagen induced lips."
" So that probably falls to the cons. Imagine--" Ethan was about to dive into his horrifying imagines but Connor cut him off.
"It's actually good. It's feels fuller." Connor said. I'm going to be sick.
"But imagine, you suddenly cut her lip open and the colagen trickled out of the open wound. Along with the blood." Ethan said.
Connor retorted, "I don't really think you understand how colagen works. You're so stupid, you know?"
Ethan just rolled his eyes.
"So let's continue with the cons." Connor announced.
"Hey! We haven't even finished with all the pros!" I said and it made me sit up from my slump just to defend my side.
They all grinned the same grin.
Stupid faces.
Stupid friends.
"Okay, what else can you say? " Jake challenged.
"Well, she likes cuddling, so we cuddle a lot. And it feels good to make her feel good. Plus it's warm." Darn where did this came from, this is totally *my Mom does not allow me to say it*
"It's the oompha loompah, isn't it?" Connor asked with that sly smile again.
"What?! No! Why are you so hormonal. Shut up!" That hit a nerve. I didn't just date Rachel because of her rocking body, but it was because I really really like her. Yes, I couldn't completely put the fact away, that when she hugs me I could feel, um, that thing pressing on me. And when I lift her by the waist I'm always surprised of how curvy it is. Okay, you get the point.
"Okay, you done?" Jake raised his brows to me. "Okay, with the cons."
Ethan drummed his fingers on the foam, it made my nose itchy.
"Cons," Connor started "you're under her orders, you never had a say to anything in your life, remember she picks what you eat, what you wear, what you do with your hair, who to hang out with, who to avoid, how to react, how to respond. You never get to hang out with the real cool kids," Connor said and I noticed they were leaning towards each other like saying 'we are the cool kids' "because in parties that we go to, you're always with her and her bitches, don't look at me like that, they call themselves bitches. And sometimes the party you and dragon-face go to isn't just cool eno--"
"Sh-shut up. Just shut your mouth. I get your point." I said raising hands both to shut him and to surrender. I sighed. "What are you trying to point out?"
"You need to do the 'M' word." Ethan said.
"Yeah, I know." I added quickly.
"Everybody's been telling me that for two months now."
"Then why don't you? " Jake said.
I suddenly looked up to the three of them. Darn that was a huge point right over there. Why don't I?
Connor must have read my face so he said. "There was the point there right there, right? Eh? Right?"
"Wh-" I paused and thought the better of it. "How?"
They all looked at each other and Jake smiled at me triumphantly. He clapped his hand to my shoulders and said, "You know what you need?"
"What?" unsure, I asked.
"Adventure." he said this in a low hoarse whisper with excitement in his eyes and my brain was like, why not?
I sighed heavily, "You already got this all planned out didn't you?" I made it sound like I wasn't glad when really, I'm super glad for this distraction.
They all nodded and Connor said "Yeah we kind of do, so even if you wouldn't come we'd still go."
"No way." they all stopped nodding.
"No way am I going to miss it." And after two months, I laughed because of something that is happening to me, and not because of something that happened on the T. V.