Baller || ✓ [#2] FIUFAMILY

23

Chapter 23 || Newsflash

;they're both stubborn and it's complicated

"And I can't deal with pretending anymore, Bella."

The past two days I've wrote out a million and one texts, then ended up deleting them. 

Do you know how many times I've nearly launched my phone at the wall?

Too many to fucking count - then to top it off, I haven't made a single basket. 

My mind is all over the place and it's all because I'm a dickwad who can't keep his damn mouth shut. And Bella. 

Bella is the main reason why I'm so goddamn distracted.

Her face constantly flashes through my mind. So hurt, defeated, disappointed, sad.

"Okay, that sounded cheesier out loud than it did in my head, but it's true. I like you, Bella. A lot, and I can't cope with all these fucking feelings, I can't, I hate them and it's all your fault-"

Her jaw drops. "My fault!? How the fuck is it my fault!?"

"You kissed me back, and ever since that night you haven't left my fucking mind, it's torture! Absolute fucking torture that I can't have you when you're all I want! Maybe the draft too," I added with a shrug, "but other than that, it's you. And I don't know what to do. I'm clueless, stuck and a dick, and I'm sorry. Truly, truly sorry."

Her features may have softened ever so slightly, but she's still glaring me down, hard.

"You think you can come here; spin me a load of shit and I'm just going to forgive you? If that's the case, you're stupider than I thought." my brunette fumes. "You hurt me, Maddox. Did you even stop to think how I would feel? How your words would affect me?" she snorted in disbelief. "No, of course you didn't, because I wasn't supposed to hear them. You slated me like I was nothing, so that's exactly what I'm going to be to you, nothing."

"You don't get it! You're not nothing, you're everything, Tori. Every-fucking-thing. I said what I said to get Cammy off my back because the conversation was physically knocking me sick. I didn't wanna think about not having you and moving on, I didn't want that. But you rejecting me hurt too, it hurt real fucking bad, but that's not on you because I knew you had this rule, you had it to protect yourself from dickheads like me, but I don't wanna be--no, I'm not one of those dickheads. You just have to let me show you! Please, Bella."

Now I sound like a fucking idiot.

I'm begging this girl, pleading with her, and I don't even care how pathetic I look.