He would try to function as normally as he could, but when the day ends and he would be alone with his thoughts, the grief would slowly creep in and settle on his bones. It will be a cycle of forgetting and remembrance. For grief does not want to be...
The distinct sound of sobbing greeted Win when he opened his eyes.
Still disoriented, he glanced at the clock hanging on the far wall of their bedroom. Two-fifty A.M. Beside Win, Bright's breathing had already evolved into breathless gasps as the latter tried to control his tears. The bed sheet crumpled under Bright's tight grip, the man's knuckles turning white from the force he exerted.
Win rose from the bed, allowing their blanket to pool at his waist. He extended his arms and wrapped them around his grieving lover. Bright shook in his embrace.
"Shh," Win whispered, "I'm here. I'm here."
Bright's phone lay on the carpeted floor, forgotten from the moment Bright dropped it. The screen flashed a familiar name: Dr. Vihokratana. Win heard the doctor's voice over the speaker, "I'm sorry for your loss, Mr. Chivaaree."
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Sunlight was already spilling into their bedroom by the time Bright's cries had calmed down. When Win felt that Bright was no longer shaking in his arms, and that the man's sobs had quieted down to the occasional sniffle, Win stood up from the bed and squatted down in front of his lover so that they were now face-to-face. Bright had stopped crying, but the residue of grief painted his face. His cheeks were flushed, his eyes were red and swollen, and his lips were chapped and bloody from the instances he bit on them to suppress his tears. Looking at Bright was painful, and Win had to bite back tears of his own.
"If I could take away the pain, I would," Win said softly as he ran a thumb across Bright's eyes, wiping at the tears threatening to fall. "Want to eat? We have a long day."
Bright just stared at him blankly. Win sighed. Maybe later.
Later was eight-thirty AM. They had been wordlessly sitting side-by-side for a little bit over an hour. The whole time, Win kept his hand over Bright's, trying as best as he could to remind the other man that he's not alone. That Win is here and that he will always be here.
"We should probably go to the hospital now." Win said, "there are a lot of things to fix. You still need to sign the discharge papers."
They were adults. Mourning would have to wait.
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