Never Know | ᴊɪᴍɪɴᴊᴇᴏɴɢ

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My first memory of high school, 1st year to be exact, was there high up in a tree. I was causally leaning back in a sturdy branch — ditching the welcome ceremony.

All I could remember was the clear blue skies. The silence that engulfed me was home and peace with me.

That endless whispers inside my mind, the haunting noises inside that gym, all of it was gone.

The warm breeze of June fluttered the leaves in a dance. That fresh air, feeling like I had my freedom back.

I'm alive and well but it doesn't seem that way to me at all.

TWICKH!

I heard a twig break, but only a flick of hair was seen retreating.

My eyes, no, I couldn't believe it.

I remembered losing my sanity as I caught up, that short hair fluttered still as I held your wrist.

There and then, I smiled ever so warm.

     "I finally found you."

Back in the day, I wondered what you'll say when you'll see me soon.

Would you recognize me from the get-go or did you forget about me?

I hoped that there's just, a tiny bit of recognition was there for me — I hoped for it every single day since you left without any word.

Your eyes that I once knew would gleam seeing me... wasn't there.

Nothing was there.

The time we had apart was far too long, for you to recognize me.

A troubled look was thrown at my unwanted hand. "What are you doing?"

I let go and backed away from you.

That tone, why was it filled with unfamiliarity?

Can't you remember me?

     "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Of course, it's the former.

Who am I kidding?

I'm against time.

     "I should be asking you that..." it was whispered to myself.

You had your guard up. Did I want to outright say that it's me? Maybe you'll recognize me?

I've had enough.

     "My bad," I softly uttered to you. "I mistook you for someone else. Have a great day."

A small smile made its way to your puckered lips. "Hey, it's fine. I should go now."

I stepped away. "Goodbye."

When I thought you continue to walk away, you glanced back at me with a tight-lipped smile. "Can I ask your name?"

It's fucking unfair, so so unfair.

I found myself saying my name, feeling so damned, and all the words that made people go insane went through me.

     "Kim Minjeong."

Yet you didn't notice it, cause you only softly repeated my name in a whisper for yourself.

No words came out of me as I left you, who looked so far away from the one I knew.

A broken heart can be mended but as time goes on – I no longer think it can be.

You were never lost, you were gone the moment you left without any goodbyes to me.

I never approached your peace even though you've been silently killing me with it.

***

Sometime in my 3rd year of high school was where my underlying problems began to arise.

It was the second time an unknown number hit up my phone. Despite it, I answered it.

Only to hear words of lightning, hitting me ever so guilty.

The call ended, but the pain I thought I buried was still there.

What have I done?

I should have been there for him.

I have to go back to him.

But someone, who came back, was stopping me from going to him. It was supposed to be fine by now — I made my mind, but damn it.

I have to go – to make up for my mistakes.

I'm sorry, but I have to.

For one last time, I'll be the villain in your life.

And this story starts back in that same 3rd year in SM High — Yes. All before that anonymous phone call even happened. The very same year that Kim Minjeong had to overcome the misfortune has befallen her.

Along with the person who is named Yu Jimin who fell victim to obvious oblivion — like Minjeong, she fought with herself for the sake of love, walking down memory lane seemed hard for her to do so.