Loving The Boy Who Broke Me (previously You Again)

Chapter Five: Bad Memories and Bad Boys

"It seems like pain and regret are your best friends cause' everything you do leads to them." - The Weeknd

Chapter Five: Bad Memories and Bad Boys

I remember when I was young and I would look up to my older brother. I would always wish that I would be praised like he was. I strived to be what he was. The ideal kid. It wasn't until I got older that I realized that he was not the perfect son. Oh no. He was far from it. There are some things in this world that I wish I had never come to realize existed.

Kingston Jay West was the perfect son. He had good grades. He was the quarterback at Ravenwood. He was accepted to Yale on a full ride. Granted he didn't need the help so they gave it to a kid who deserved it as well as needed it. Kingston was perfect. Or as perfect as the eyes that watched him, could see.

He wasn't though. Oh no he was not. I remember the night I found out the truth about everything dark about him. He was in some deep sh*t.

He was in a gang go figures right? The good kid who was the son of a prestige family that had its own dark secrets. He was not only in the gang but he was the leader. He was on drugs. Hardcore drugs. Heroin and cocaine to be exact. He was a drug smuggler. I know he has most likely killed people but I don't want to know that much about what he truly did.

The worst part is that he had pulled Axel into this circle of hell. I didn't know. How did I not know that the red eyes and bloodied hands and bruised faces meant such bad things? I always believed the lies. "I haven't slept lately" or "It's from the gym, boxing matches" I was so stupid and blind by the images of perfection to see the ugly truth. My brother and boyfriend were killing themselves and I didn't know.

One night my blindness almost killed them. I followed them one night because I was suspicious. Of course me, being this girl that pictured the best in everything, didn't to walk up onto a drug deal. It was bad. There were gun shots and sounds of pain. I don't remember much except a bullet coming for me and me being shoved out of the way. After I hit the ground I blacked out. I only remember one final gunshot and hysterical yells.

When I woke up I was in my own bed. I woke up to the sound of voices. I walked downstairs slowly and saw them. The cops putting handcuffs on my brother. I remember the sound of hysteria coming from my mom and the anger I knew so well from my dad.

My brother was arrested for drugs and murder as well as gang violence. That is when everything started to fall apart. My family, my relationship, my life.

I mumble curses to myself as I walk through yet another metal detector. I am not here to blow the damn place up. Just to see my criminal of a brother. I finally get passed the multiple check points and can walk through the last door. I feel a weird feeling in my stomach. I haven't seen my brother since the day he was arrested, two years ago.

I look up from my feet and I see him. He looks older, more masculine. I see that he has managed to get tattoos. Figures. His once golden hair is now darker and cut in a crew cut. His face is covered in hair. He has a beard that isn't too long but it's still there. His eyes light up. He obviously wasn't expecting to see me.

"Leni Graece? Is that you?" His voice is even deeper. I guess it came with age.

"In the flesh. Kenny J." I hug him quickly. I never understood how someone with his charges can have such chill visitations.

"You have grown up so much. Wow. What have you been up to these past two years?" we sit back down. I look at him skeptically. Well I came here for a reason. That reason wasn't to have some mini family reunion. No I am here for answers.

"Besides crying because the boy I loved left me in the rain or the fact that I have become a cold hearted b*tch who likes trouble? Both seem to be your fault." I look at him with all the anger that is pent up within me.