Broken (Connor Franta Fanfiction)

Chapter 1

I looked up and into his aqua-colored eyes. I remember how they used to shine, even through the darkness, but lately things have changed. He's not the same fun, easy-going boy I fell in love with. The boy I traveled hundreds of miles for. The boy who would comfort me when I was hurt. Now he's the one causing all this pain. Why? Why does Connor Franta do this to me?

I tried to hold back my tears. I was just slowly being ripped apart. But he didn't care. I would give anything for him to care like he used to. For him to give me a rose just because, for him to look at me with that gleam of love, for him to hold my hand when I was nervous, for him to hug me from behind while we slept, for him to love me like he used to.

Sometimes when he comes home drunk, I just want to crawl up in a ball and die. Oh, he doesn't hurt me physically, but emotionally. He tells me things like, "You're never going to amount to anything because you dropped out of college." For him. He seems to forget I dropped out to be with him. He sometimes tells me I'm worthless and stupid. But worst of all he tells me that I'm dirty, and that I'm filled with someone's poison.

He breaks me. And he knows it. I don't know why, but I stay. Every time. Oh wait, yes, I do know why. Because I love him. He's my world. He's my everything. I would literally rather die than go a day without seeing his flawless face. I pray to God every night that he will change and that he'll fix what is broken. But he never does.

*Connor's POV*

I looked deep into her brown eyes that used to radiate happiness. Now they are dim and dull. I know why. It's because of me. I should have been there for her when she needed me, but instead I turned into a complete jerk. It wasn't even her fault! I'm such a monster.

I come home drunk and tear into her, using all of those secret insecurities, that she only trusted me with, against her. I can tell she's breaking, but I'm breaking too. Why can't we just wake up one day and just forget. Why can't her stomach empty up and we can forget all about this.

I know it wasn't her fault, but I'm hurting too, ya know. I know, she's the one who should be drinking. Why am I taking this the hardest?

Because she's pregnant with another man's baby.