It was a normal day for Levi Jonathan Sell, he took his morning walk down the streets of Dildo humming to his favorite song "Hotel California". As Levi Jonathan Sell was walking back to his split-level house to eat breakfast that his momma made, he saw a kitten near a park trashcan.
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"Wow, this cat looks just like me!" Levi exclaimed.
The cat obviously was neglected, it was covered in filth, and its hair was all matted.
"I'm gonna take you home with me little buddy!" Levi said.
He picked it up and straddled it back home with him. Eventually, Levi and the cat arrived at his mother's house. Levi knocked on his momma's house when suddenly, no one answered. Levi started screaming for his mom's name.
Levi banged on the door, with the sole purpose to open it. Why isn't his mom answering? Is she Dead? When suddenly, a sexy little girl answered the door.
"Um sir, I think you are at the wrong house, sir," she said.
Levi's jaw was DROPPEd from her beauty, speechless of words.
"J-je." Levi stuttered.
"Mom, I think he's a pedophile..." she muttered.
"Oh sorry! I was just thinking of something else, I'm sorry for bothering you guys!"Levi answered.
The little girl was staring at the kitten in Levi's arms.
"What's his name?" The little girl said.
"K-k-k-Kyle, you?" Levi answered.
"Oh, um... My name's Sadie." Sadie answered.
"Damn, that's a hot ass name- I me-" Levi stuttered.
All of the sudden, stopping his words, Sadie pulled him in for a kiss.
"Wh-wha-w." Levi said.
The next 2 years Levi and Sadie lived a happy life together as a couple even though he was 17 and Sadie was 8, and eventually his cat Kyle died.
On a normal Sunday morning, Sadie was whippin' up some pancakes to make for breakfast. Levi was watching the News on their Motorola TV. It was broadcasted that Putin was bombing the US, and said that lots of people were going to be drafted.
"Shit Shit Shit Shit!" Levi yelled.
Levi ran upstairs to his son's room, he opens the door and finds Johan curling his toes on the legs of his desk. Levi looked at him disgusted.
"NIGGERS! NIGGERS! NIGGERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Johan yelled.
"JOHAN JONATHAN SELL. Get the hell off that damn laptop, war is happening you fuckin man slut!" Levi yelled at him.
"SHUT THE HELL UP DAD.-" Johan stuttered as he just realized what he said.
Levi gazed at him angrily, he was huffin' and puffin', when he suddenly pulled him off of his chair. He choked Johan to the wall and pinched his nipples.
"FUCK U SAY TO DADDY BOY?" Levi yelled.
"I-" Johan stuttered.
"Say sorry to daddy NOW," Levi ordered.
"Im sorry..." Johan apologized.
Levi bent him over his desk.
"Sorry's not enough." Levi said.
He grabbed his whip and started whipping his isolated asscheeks.
"Augh! Daddy stop!!!" Johan moaned.
"You like that LITTLE BITCH, WHAT I THOUGHT. Never disrespect my name like that."
Sadie screamed from the kitchen.
"OH MY GOD AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Sadie screeched.
Levi comes downstairs, along with Johan by his side bawling his eyes out.
"Baby what happened?" Levi asked.
"THE FUCKING TERRORISTS ARE HERE, OH MY GODD..." Sadie cried.
Levi looks outside the window.
"Nigga those are just Muslims." Levi said.
"Oh, silly me." Sadie said.
Suddenly they hear someone yell ALLAH AKBAR from their door. The house exploded, all the dildos falling off the walls, the sex dungeon destroyed in to the ashes, everything. Gone.
Levi crawled out of the explosion. He cried for his wife's name, and cried for his son.
