Grace of God

3

Ryder

"Congratulations on the new deal, baby!"

I drop my phone onto the side table and begin to loosen the tie. I ain't overly fond of her calling me baby, it just doesn't sound right. Her dark brown eyes shine at me as she smiles.

"Thanks." I say, accepting a small kiss she offeres.

"Oh I'm so excited! I've already talked to Gwen about the party location and I just can't wait to take you and the staff to this amazing bar I recently discovered about a few weeks ago. I made her book the whole place!" She beams.

"Oh yeah? And where is this bar?"

"Remember when me and my friends were out for girl's night? Well, we went to Portland and it's just outside the main city."

Samara continues to talk, chattering on and on about going to the State of Oregon. She is beautiful, but not as beautiful as her. I quickly push down the thought and give her a small smile. We have to leave tomorrow from Seattle and we are going by the road in my limousine.

After spending whole afternoon working the next day, we are late for the party. It took her about an hour to get ready but the result is not bad. She went for all red and the colour really suits her. When we settle ourselves in the limo, she shows me her hand, looking expectant. I grab her hand; interlacing our fingers, I bring it to my lips and gently kiss her knuckles.

Sometimes I wonder if I truly like her and then ask myself if I do like her then why would I even question it? The spark and high-powered energy I felt with her isn't there, neither is the extra comfort and feeling of being myself; but I definitely care about Sam. That's enough, right? I met Sam the very next month I left for my father's business. We met in a business party dad made me attend as if he wanted to set me up with a rich girl. It's been nearly three years since then. Since I last saw her.

My first real girlfriend and the woman I loved so much; I still do. Isabella May Johnson. We had a great 3 and half years of relationship and she's my first and forever love. We met at my friend Troy's party and she caught my breath away the moment I first saw her. Even though I'm with Sam, I can never forget her; a big part of me still wants to give us a chance but I know it's too late and she must have moved on the way I did. Heck, she moved on before me.

After my graduation, my dad told me that I have to immediately go to London to take care of our business there. I didn't want to lose what I had with Isa; I could see our future together but I had to go. That day I went to tell her this but I couldn't. We ended up having the best sex of my entire life and I acted like a coward. I ran off leaving a letter behind, telling her to wait for me. I decided to call her everyday but with the workload, I didn't get the time. I didn't have any sleep and work was tiring so I used to sleep as soon as I reached home. I felt really terrible when I couldn't call her on her graduation day. She was a valedictorian for fucks sake! When I graduated, she gifted me beautiful silver cufflinks that must have cost her a good amount of money she saved for her college and instead I just sent her a message and got busy in the damn work again. I was unintentionally breaking us and it pained me.

A few weeks after that, dad came to visit me when I was getting ready for the office. He started asking me about Isa and I told him I didn't have time to talk to her since I came here and that I'm thinking of surprising her by going back next month. When I stepped out of the bathroom his face was all red and anxiety was written all over his face, he was holding my phone in his hand. When I asked him what happened he almost gave me a heart attack.

He told me that he ran into Isabella at the coffee shop a few days ago as he desperately wanted a coffee on his way to work and that she said she doesn't want to do anything with me as it's not going to work long distance, she's also thinking about moving on.

My whole world fell apart.

It was all my fault but I respected her decision. She deserved a happy life. Dad told me she was calling to tell that to my face and blocked her, he didn't want me to get hurt. He also suggested that I should change my number. I don't know anything about her since then.

Samara is the daughter of one of our business partners and tonight I'm going to propose her. Not for me, but for my dad and the company. I came back from London with her few months ago. She grew up there so she wanted to visit every major city in the States. She doesn't know about Isa and I don't feel the need to tell her either. Samara can never have my heart but I can try to be a good and respectful husband.

When we reach the place, it is already 11 and most of our guests are here. My dad knows about the whole engagement thing as it's his idea but he and Sam's father are out of country. Samara's mom died when she was young and my mom is accompanying dad on their business trip along with my younger brother.

"Do you like it?" Sam asks in an excited squeaky voice as I look around.

It is a big space and the decorations are quite vintage. The dim lights add a cozy vibe and waitresses are roaming through the crowd, serving drinks and appetizers.

"This place is really nice. I like it." I reply politely as her grin stretches wider.

We are talking and greeting people for a while and then she pulls me aside.

"You didn't tell me how I look RJ." She takes a sip of her red wine, batting her eyelashes.

"Beautiful as always. Is that even a question?"

She slams her lips on mine as soon as the words leave my mouth and my arms instinctively wrap around her waist. She moans, giving me chance to use my tongue. Somehow my mind wanders back to her, remembering the feel of her soft lips against mine. No woman can kiss me the way she does. A mere thought of her is turning me on but I forcefully lock the thoughts away.

We break apart after a while and I think this is the time. I turn her around while kissing and as I am about to pull the ring out of my pocket, my sight falls on the person I was thinking about moments ago.

I freeze in my actions as everything around me becomes a blur. She's looking at me almost terrified, her mouth slightly agape. What is she doing in this bar? Her parents would have never allowed her to work here. I remember she sent letters to many good colleges like Stanford and she would have gotten a scholarship as she was top in her class.

She looks different. More mature. Her eyes are puffy with dark circles around them as if she isn't sleeping at all. She also looks very thin but her breasts have gone bigger, straining the buttons on her blouse. She has her hair tied in a braided bun and the dress code is suiting her more than any other waitress they have around here.

Her eyes travel to my pocket and she must have realised what I am about to do while Samara kisses my cheek. I watch a stray tear fall down her still beautiful face. The sight of which hammers million nails in my chest. I am too shocked to react while she hurries away throwing her apron in the other girl's hand; leaving me with thousand questions.

Suddenly the engagement ring in my pocket feels tons heavy and I find myself not wanting to propose. Because of her. She is here and I feel more alive than I have felt in years. Sam turns my face towards herself, asking something.

Can I break her heart? Can I throw what we have away for a chance that Isa and I may or may not work out again? But what do we have? I don't love her even though I know she loves me. But according to dad, this is good for our business. What if Isa has a boyfriend and is in a happy relationship? I don't even know anything about her! Does she always work here? My head is going into a spiral until Sam snaps her fingers in front of my face.

"Back to earth RJ."

"Sorry, you were saying something?" She frowns and shakes her head.

"You seem distracted since we left our penthouse. Is everything okay?"

I give her a tight-lipped smile and nod. I can't bring myself to put a ring on her finger so I let it slide, my mind occupied with the thoughts about the girl I truly love.