Moral of the Story -Jaedo

Prologue

once.

doyoung quickly looks back at his notes, ignoring the aching of his heart.

twice.

he feels his leg start to bounce and his stomach getting all queasy.

thrice.

he almost slams his fist on the table, his breath quickening up.

"doyoung he won't stop looking at you."

doyoung looks over for the fourth time and he sees piercing eyes staring him down. he felt as if he moved the slightest something would happen. something not necessarily good but not bad either.

"let him stare.... it doesn't affect me," doyoung responded, pretending as if he didn't hear the own shakiness in his voice.

"doyoung i don't want to point out the obvious, but you are obviously not okay," taeyong tried to help.

maybe it was the last push before he went over the edge because doyoung slammed his hand on the table and shoved his things in his bag quickly.

pencils going all over the ground and his papers crinkling as they were shoved harshly into the bag.

doyoung wasn't okay.

he didn't want to hear that he wasn't though.

maybe it was because he knew how much power jaehyun held over him. it's always been like this, like a fucking dictatorship that won't just go the fuck away.

doyoungs mood depended on what jaehyun did or what jaehyun said. if jaehyun was mad doyoung was mad, if jaehyun felt sad so did doyoung. if jaehyun wanted doyoung to be with him that's exactly what doyoung always did.

if doyoung wasn't dependent on jaehyun, jaehyun would feel upset... angry. and then begins that butterfly effect.

of course one day doyoung would realize how toxic this is. he couldn't live his life off of what somebody else wanted. but then again he forced himself to think it wasn't jaehyuns fault.

he blamed himself, then he tried to blame jaehyun, but ultimately it was his fault. like always. because he knew what jaehyun wanted, he wanted control, he wanted power, he wanted to own something.

and maybe it was because that's how he was raised, a pawn for his family. he obeyed his parents, did everything they wanted. he didn't do anything he liked, he always just followed his parents. why? because he was scared.

scared to disappoint, scared to be hated, scared that they would look down on him, scared that he wouldn't be seen as this perfect human being. he loved, hated, the idea of perfection.

so no it wasn't jaehyuns fault for treating doyoung his way. it was doyoungs fault for getting caught up in this. he knew how mentally unstable jaehyun was.

but in the beginning it was everything anyone could ask for. a puppy love romance that was the epitome of perfection, no flaws at all.

and that was the sense of false hope doyoung needed to be forever be attached to jaehyun.