I know that it might sound more than a little crazy, but I believe that I knew I loved you before I met you. I think I dreamed you into life...
The thought passed by Kim Jonghyun's mind as he stared at the flawless beauty in front of his very own eyes. It was incredible. It was unbelievable that such being existed in this world. He was stupefied by him and it seemed like he was spellbound by the beauty emanating from his sharp features. That him, Kim Kibum was no ordinary creature. He was a goddess, a deity, and Jonghyun knew that. He was the epitome of perfection for Jonghyun and that was all that mattered. He was, in simpler terms, blinded by the sight of Kibum. He forgot about the reality beyond Kibum and his perfection, the truth that was hidden behind the other's untainted beauty and the harsh, cruel world he had to deal with without Kibum. Jonghyun became naive and ignorant of the things around him because of that blinding love. He wouldn't accept the reality behind Kibum and forced himself to think that he was the one. That he was his dream that turned into life. Kibum was just too perfect for Jonghyun to let go.
"Jonghyun, I'm leaving. Yah. Jonghyun. It's already 5 am in the morning. Where's my payment?" Key asked in a groggy voice, lifting his hand in front of Jonghyun's frozen face.
"Huh? Oh. Why? Why are you leaving so soon? Key, I thought I told you I'd pay for an all-nighter?" Jonghyun questioned the other.
"What all-nighter? It's already 5 am, Kim Jonghyun! I still have other clients and other businesses to take care of!" Key answered in a exasperated tone while getting off the bed. He took his shirt that was hanging from one of the chairs nearby.
"You're not my only client, okay? And I told you, I still have other businesses to attend to!" He continued as he put on his shirt and then headed for the bathroom.
This was the harsh reality Jonghyun faced. Unlike him, he wasn't Kibum's only one. He was just one of his clients. Another one of those who Key got his money from. Another one of those who Key called his 'regulars'. Kibum really wasn't an ordinary creature; normally, people would say he was more of a toy and not even a human being. Jonghyun though, refused to believe this and remained stubborn. He was willing to pay this goddess, this beauty, every night just to make him his.
On the other hand, it was very different for Kibum. Jonghyun's money wasn't enough to buy him his love. Yes, he does admit, Jonghyun was pretty cute and funny. He liked Jonghyun in every way, but it was his own heart which wasn't willing to give in. He was too scared, too frightened to love Jonghyun. He feared that he was going to be left alone and forgotten by the person he'll truly love. He just wasn't ready to put his heart's remaining strength to the test. His heart's fragile strength was all that's left of him and it was too precious to risk.
"What is wrong with you Kibum? I already told you that I'd pay for everything. Everything. What part of everything can you not understand?" Jonghyun raised his voice a little, getting out of the fancy bed he had. He was rich and he could afford anything, but why was it that he couldn't get Key to love him? The question annoyed him day and night, lingering in his mind and it almost drove him crazy.
Jonghyun went to the bathroom where Key was fixing his shirt and hair. He was half-naked, but that didn't matter at the moment. His focus was all on Kibum and getting him to say yes. He was waiting for that moment wherein Key will say the sweet, short word, the yes to his seemingly life-long profession of blinded love.
"Jonghyun. How many times do I have to tell you? This is my work and I'm just here to get paid! I can't stay here forever, even if you had the money to make me! I have a world outside of this room, too!" He answered in an infuriated voice, but inside, he felt like everything was about to break down out of pity for Jonghyun. Kibum knew that Jonghyun was a very lonely person, even if he didn't show it. He was rich and yes, he did have a lot of friends, but those so-called friends won't suffice to fill the loneliness Jonghyun had in his heart. Key knew all that, because he had already heard those words from Jonghyun's mouth while he was drifting off into his usual nightmares. Key knew all that, but he wasn't so sure of how he'll help the poor Jonghyun.
"Key, are you really that heartless? Are you really that cold? Can't you see that I'm already begging you to stay? I've set aside my pride, my everything just to make you stay! And yet here you are again, refusing my offer! All you have to say is yes, Kibum! All you have to do is stay!" Jonghyun painfully told Key, and he felt like his heart was being ripped out from his chest. It hurt that Key never listened. It hurt that he could never get what he had been wanting all his life, get the love that he had worked hard for.
Jonghyun always felt like he was a reject. His parents never noticed the hardships he overcame and always gave their attention to the family's princess, his older sister. He never felt like a prince in his family, in fact, he felt like a pauper. He was poor. Not in terms of money, no. He was deprived from love. He felt too lonely and even if at times he forced himself to be happy, it just wasn't enough.
There's just no rhyme or reason, only the sense of completion. And in your eyes, I see the missing pieces I'm searching for...
Jonghyun believed that Kibum was his missing piece, the love that he had been deprived of feeling. Kibum was the one who'll complete him and make him truly happy, but reality was cruel. Reality was too selfish to give Jonghyun what he had been asking for such a long time.
Maybe it's intuition, but some things you just don't question...
Kibum thought as he heard the heart-breaking cry of Jonghyun. His heart's intuition was to ignore Jonghyun, but it was almost making him insane. He felt so sorry that he had to leave, just because his weak heart said so.
"I-I I'm not heartless, Jjong! I'm completely human and you know that! It's just that I can't. I-I can't because... I-I just can't, okay?" He answered the cry of Jonghyun, tugging on his beautiful locks, which he just fixed a while ago. He leaned over the sink, holding onto its sides for support. His heart was breaking, his weak heart was giving in.
"It's not that I don't like you, Jonghyun! It's-It's my heart! My stupid, weak heart! I can't risk my heart because that's all I have left! I-I have no more dignity left, because of this stupid work I have to bare with to live. I don't even know if this is considered living, being called as a toy by everyone else, but nonetheless, my heart's all I have and that's what you're asking for..." Key told him, crying while beating his own chest, thinking that it'll lessen the pain.
After hearing what Key said, Jonghyun was silenced. He never realized. He was too naive and blinded by his own need. He didn't know that Key was feeling this way. But unlike Kibum, he was ready to risk it all. He was ready to risk everything to get this goddess's heart, to take care of it in its fragile state, and bring back its strength with his own soul and love.
"Kibum. Trust me. I'll take care of your heart. I'll bring back its strength. I won't leave you nor take advantage of your weak heart, Key. I would never do that." He softly said and took careful steps towards Key's fragile figure. He slowly and gently hugged Key from the back, showing his sincerity.
Key felt the warmth from Jonghyun's body. He wanted to stay there. Somehow he felt safe in his arms and he felt like his heart was protected. Jonghyun would never hurt him, that's what he thought.
"Just say yes, Kibum. Just say yes." Jonghyun whispered.
Maybe, it was finally the time to risk his heart. Maybe risking it would be for the better. Maybe Jonghyun would really be able to bring back his heart's strength. His mind was full of maybe's and his heart was already softening, slowly giving into what his mind wanted. All he needed to say was yes. Just a simple word to bring back his heart. Just say yes.
"Y-Yes. I'll trust you, Kim Jonghyun..." Kibum finally got the words out of his mouth.
Jonghyun's heart fluttered upon hearing Key's response. He finally said yes. Jonghyun mentally swore that he won't break his promise. He'll take care of Key's heart and bring its strength back.
They stayed there, not thinking about the risks and just savored the endearing moment they had. They were both filled with hope for the future. They had never been this happy and hopeful before and all it took was just a simple yes. A simple yes.
A thousand angels dance around you. I am complete now that I've found you. I knew that I loved you before I met you... I have been waiting all my life...
