The Royal Project

Prologue

AMELIA

Regret. One of the words that I related to most at the moment. Almost everyone in my life was making me feel regret. It was the only feeling I had. I had to numb myself from feeling anything else. My parents trained me for this. They trained me to feel numb, to ignore any real feelings for anything. Anything important, this was part of the regret. I was feeling regret for feeling regret. I owed it to her. I owed it to her because I shouldn't regret it. There was no reason for me too, the only reason I can find for me regretting it was them.

They were making me feel regret for it happening. For everything that had happened. It gave me a bottomless pit in my stomach, which only increased as time passed. It was finally out there. Everything that I was taught from a young age about being perfect was completely thrown out of the window. The public, they were finally being told the truth about my family. The truth about my seemingly perfect family, and how we are actually the complete opposite of that. Some of the secrets about our lives that they had never seen were finally coming out.

I didn't have to seem perfect to the public. I wasn't set to this standard anymore. I should have felt relief, but I was still feeling regret. I deserve to be happy, I don't deserve to feel the way that I was feeling. I know I was fine with how my life was coming into play, how my future was set up. Don't have to please my parents anymore. This didn't stop me from feeling regret. I deserve to be happy, I shouldn't have to feel regret about this.

This may be easier to tell if I start from the beginning. At the very beginning. The very start funny enough happened when I had to be perfect. The public. The irony.