It really hurts not being able to get up and it hurts ignoring you and I'm crying all the time about every little thing and panic attacks have become the new norm. I hear you shout my name I hear you ask if I'm ok I never am I never have been I never will be but overall the thing I hate the most is the overthinking everything honestly it's stressing me out more than the actual situation it sends shivers down my spine and a shooting pain to my head. I know it's not an excuse but it's the reason for the drinking and the smoking and the drugs. It will probably feel like I'm pointing fingers but it dose feel like there fault they didn't raise me I still love them tho and I have no clue why and I also blame all of those people who were just there to witness me fall the once who pushed me down as far as possible and just leaving like it's nothing. But thank you to hall the people who haven't left even tho I do annoy you I know I do, you say I don't but I know I do and thank for making me smile every 2 minutes of my day. And thank you for loving me and looking after me when I get low so I guess what I'm saying is just thank you.
