Cycles

"Self-improvement is masturbation, now self-destruction..."

I figured it out, took long enough but at least I know now. For far too long I have willingly chosen to adopt a cycle that has led to nothing but mental pain and struggle. I hate the fact that I get up in the morning, stare in the mirror and see someone who could do more. Constantly being told that your body and mind are nothing more than vessels for hedonistic enjoyment, is something that I'm tired of hearing, and something I don't want to apply to my life anymore. As a man, I must have to take risks in order to create the reality I want to see. I need to develop myself in both body and mind as a means of becoming the greatest person I know I can be. Wake up, stare at myself, become better, that's the goal. 

But it's hard to see, hard to comprehend; how can I fathom someone such as me breaking something so unhealthy and downright destructive? But I do know that it has to be done; it can be done. I do know I can do the very best that I can do.

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Funny enough, this was written at a time when I was truly and utterly feeling defeated, but now I feel even better than ever, but it is still just the beginning. Everything is a process, but as of now, this cycle that has hurt me, and something I have struggled with for a long time, I have now broken. I still have many things to work on, and so many more opportunities to see, so for now, I will not look at myself as a failure, and continue to grow in spirit, body and mind. 

The cycles that we are in are a result of our habits and we continue to shape ourselves around them, eventually being involved in either a healthy or toxic cycle. No matter the cost, no matter the despair, no matter the loss of relationships on the journey to becoming better, I will have to do what is necessary. There will be friends and brothers I shall make on this journey, and I will ensure that I will learn more, and teach more to many people as I continue on this road. 

To you, I encourage you; if you are in a cycle which is destructive if you are in a position where your body and mind and spirit are being challenged by demonic forces and you are broken by the toxicity; look within yourself and know you can do better than what you are doing now, look around and find a community of people who you can grow with and be stronger, become the best that you are able to be, because through God, through the strength, perseverance and consistency that you have, you are able to be the greatest person you are able to be.