Humaling

Humaling 1

"Hey," I glanced at Gael. He sat down beside me and placed the beers in the table.

"Where are they?"

"Smoking," I nodded.

"Are you okay?" He asked. I looked at him and shook my head. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I remained silent. I was looking at the trees in front of us. It's already 11pm and it's been a minutes since the conversation happened. I regret what I did but it's for the best. I keep telling myself that as long as she's happy then I'm good with it.

"I told her that I should stop courting her."

"Why did you do that?"

"It's for the best. I did what I know was right. As long as she's happy then I'm good with it. Kahit hindi ako ang rason kung bakit masaya siya as long as he makes her happy then I'm happy too."

"You're hurting yourself," he said. I gave him a fake smile and nodded.

"At least I have the chance to prove myself to her. At least I made her happy. At least we made good memories together. Baka pwedeng maging friends pa rin kami pagkatapos," I faked laugh and drank the beer. Ngayon nalang ulit ako iinom. I just wanted to drink everything that happened tonight.

I wanted to go home. I wanted to go there and say that I don't want to stop. I don't want to do it but I keep reminding myself that it's probably for the best.

Nang makabalik sila Zale, he was staring at me. "What?"

"Okay ka lang? Parang may kakaiba..."

"I stopped courting her," I said.

"Huh?" He shouted. Lake looked at me with his brows furrowed.

"Paano nangyari 'yon? Parang kanina lang gusto mong umuwi para puntahan siya bukas," Lake replied.

"I saw their IG story."

"Yun na 'yon?"

"It's probably for the best. She's happy with him and I told you guys, I know my boundaries."

"Kahit masaktan ka?" Zale asked.

"Kahit masaktan ako," I answered. He sighed.

"I hope you won't regret this in the future." I already did. I wanted to talk to her and say that I didn't mean that but I have no choice. What matters right now is her happiness.

"Iinom natin 'yan," Zale said and offered me another bottle. I shook my head.

"Matutulog na 'ko."

"KJ naman," I heard him comment. Hindi ko siya pinansin at pumasok sa kwarto.

I wasn't really sleepy yet but I needed some alone time to think about what I did. I sighed. Something inside me was really doubting if what I did was right.

I sighed.

I picked up the phone beside me and searched her name in my contacts. She wasn't active anymore.

I sighed again.

Gusto ko siyang kamustahin. Aziel, ang tanga mo.

I close my eyes until I unconsciously fell asleep. The next morning, they weren't still awake. I made my way to leave but before I can leave I heard Gael.