Rent-A-Girlfriend: The Finale

I haven't seen Mizuhara in three months. She hasn't talked to me since we returned from the trip where we finally had to talk about the fact that she was my rental girlfriend. The problem, though, is that we kept the one lie in place that we were really together. To convince everyone, Mizuhara kissed me in front of everyone; not once, but twice. My heart has been a twisted wreck since then.

After speaking with Mini-chan and learning that Mizuhara was at the campus library, I ran inside to clean myself up. I washed off the grotesque stench of the last several weeks and shaved my disheveled face until I could almost recognize myself. The only thing missing was her.

The look on her face after we kissed still lived in my mind, replaying day in and day out without resolve. What did it all mean? Does she love me back? Probably not. But, it doesn't matter. I have to tell Mizuhara how I feel so I can finally know whether or not she ever had feelings for me.

I ran across town, seemingly not taking a breath between steps. I couldn't exhale until I felt the relief of Mizuhara speaking to me, again. I jumped a futon being moved out of an apartment complex without breaking stride, sliding slightly as I reacquainted the soles of my shoes with the gritty pavement. I knew the movers were pissed, but I had somewhere to be. For the first time in a long time, I could finally go back to where I was supposed to have never left.

I reached the quad faster than even I was expecting, causing my brain to reel for a second as I planned the direction I needed to go. After I got my bearings, I bolted toward the campus library between other students and professors crossing traffic. I couldn't slow down, not for anyone or anything other than Mizuhara. Even if I had, my heart would have kept its blistering cadence until I saw her.

I rounded the corner of the communications building and made my way across the courtyard towards where the university library was waiting for me. Its one story sat upon a small staircase on the pavement, giving me one last hurdle to climb to be back with Mizuhara.

As I approached the landing at the top of the stairs, the door in front of me cracked open. The soft, revealing light from within the building illuminated her silhouette. Without adjusting to the change in brightness, I knew it was her. Her hair was in the braids she wore whenever she went to class. Her glasses frames sat firmly in place over the jewels she had for eyes, accentuating the rose in her cheeks. Her oversized sweatshirt and sloppy jeans couldn't betray the beauty she was trying to to keep others from seeing. Her soft, white skin shone like alabaster in the halls of heaven itself, piercing my heart to its purest center.

Mizuhara saw me, clutching her books tightly as she realized who I was. The surprise on her face and in her voice gave way to a deeper realization that I was making as I saw her. I had barely begun to speak her name when revelation came. From the dim indoor lights behind her emerged a figure that will never escape my mind. Umi-san walked out into the open air from behind her, his hand resting solidly on her waist. This was the answer. This was her choice. She was with Umi-san, and I had made the biggest mistake of my life.

Without pause or purpose, I rotated upon my heels and began to jettison off toward anywhere but there. I knew I was exactly where I wasn't wanted. As the surprisingly chilling wind whipped against my face, it felt as though my tears were turning to stone, falling painfully to the dirt from which I came. As the sounds of the traffic ahead of me grew louder, I thought I could faintly hear her call out my name as though she wanted me to stay. The mind plays terrible tricks on a person, especially when the heart was the one doing the planning.

‐‐-------------------------

I couldn't concentrate on anything, anymore. Those moments from the resort keep bubbling up into me, no matter how hard I tried to push them back down. It wasn't like I had really kissed him, was it? I did it to protect him from the shame he was experiencing in that moment. Shame that I helped cause. Why, though? Why did I go out of my way to save him from that kind of embarrassment? I knew the reason, but I still couldn't - or, more accurately, wouldn't - let myself answer honestly.