𝗲𝗽𝗵𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗹: oneshots & twoshots. | bts

Apricity [K.SJ]

a/n: i made up this story in my mind about two months ago (while tryna sleep haha-), and i decided to publish it in this book. i hope you enjoy!

t/w: suicide. if you're reading anyway then i want you to listen to the added music >:

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"Oh gosh, why isn't she picking up?" he glanced at the doorbell once again and pressed it, but to his dismay — no response. Receiving no response after ringing the doorbell constantly for one minute straight, he gave up and broke the door and ran through the living room, searching for her. He was clearly scared that if something bad had happened to her as cold beads of sweat formed on his forehead.

She had isolated herself for days before this happened, but as more and more time went by, he finally decided to take action before something wrong happens.... but guess it was too late.

When he entered her room, he saw his best friend's body hung on the ceiling fan by a rope. Her wrists were so thin, yet so bloody as if she tried hurting herself. He felt his heart sink when he saw the note kept on the corner of the bed. It was just like in the movies. Gathering lots of courage, he walked near the bed and took the note. Unfolding the piece of slightly crumbled paper, he took in a deep breath and started reading it.

I know who is reading this note right now already. No probably needed. It's definitely you, Kim Seokjin. 

Haha, anyway, if you're reading this, it obviously means I'm dead. I know nobody cares, but I just wanted to let you know because I care. Maybe you noticed and maybe you didn't, too. I don't know what more I should write, but I'm trying to make it like how it is in the movies. 

The last few months have been very hard for me, to be honest, and as of that, I committed suicide. You were always there to help me but it's my fault that I never let you, so please don't blame yourself. It began when I got abused by some drunkards on the streets in the dark alley. They were probably goons. Remember when I wore a hoodie though it was summer and you even asked me why I wore it and I just dodged the question? It was because I wanted to hide the wounds from all that beating. I never showed that I was suffering, but I was, and you even asked me often if I was okay or not, but I was the one who lied to you saying I'm not, so please don't blame yourself. And well, that's not it. I got bullied in college because of my appearance. They made me feel like shit, seriously. They called me ugly, fat, and whatnot. Then I started to starve myself. Remember when I fainted in front of you that day and you took me to the hospital and the doctor said it was because I had a high fever? I told the doctor to say so. It was just because I didn't want you to know that, so please don't blame yourself. Remember when I almost died in that car 'accident'? They were my bullies. I don't know what they wanted from me but what they wanted is now given to them, along with the freedom of my soul. Mutually beneficial, I guess.

It is my fault that I lied. There is so much more to tell but my hands hurt now, so I'll keep this damn pen away.

I'm so sorry for not telling you the whole thing. The only way left is to gaze and the stars in the night and call my name — I'll come and tell you everything.

Thank you so much for being with me, Seokjin. Thank you for everything. 

Goodbye, Jin.

Goodbye, dear crappy world.

 ****

Her shirt was now wet with drops of tears from which were his. Almost every night, he found himself crying on her shoulders. She patted his back with her cold hands, but he never felt it. He was always numb due to how much was crying for the last few nights. "Shh, calm down. It'll be alright," he tried looking at her but she closed his eyes with her hands just when he tried to. But she was with him every night when he needed a shoulder to cry on, and the rest of the day, he couldn't see her either. 

She was always a shoulder for him to cry on, but never a face to even glance at.

But there was this one thing he oddly found familiar... her embrace. But when he asks himself why it is so, then he couldn't even say anything. Weird, isn't it? 

She was mysterious but as kind as that, just like his best friend. She reminded him of her.

Although she never wanted him to blame himself because of her lies, he couldn't help but blame himself. It was he who constantly blamed himself; it was he who constantly doubted his own abilities. The least he could do was to protect her, or just say some comforting words, but no, he trusted her lies all along and ended up like this. 

'It's my fault that I didn't help her. I believed her lies. I believed what she said as if she were God; someone who'd never lie. So dumb of me to do so. It's all my fault.'

Thoughts like this filled his brain and he always found himself thinking just about her. Oh, how he regretted what he did, though it wasn't his fault at all.

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note: i'm sorry, this oneshot won't have any part two. but anyway, what are your theories about the first paragraph of the present?