Behold, Hope

Chapter 1: Regrets

No regrets. I, Myra, will live like this.

I always told myself to live with no regrets. I guess I thought it would make my death easier for me and those around me. However, I severely underestimated death.

After experiencing life in this world, it's not hard to tell when death is hanging around. At a young age, I could feel it, maybe a gift from God or maybe just the curse of anxiety. Either way, I would never grow out of my young age. It is merely an accident that things turned out like this. It's like time stopped. It's so peaceful. And sad. The pitter patter of dripping blood. A warm rain violently beating the dirt. If only it wasn't so cold. The clouds have captured the sun. The last bit of heat is fleeing me, laced within my tears of sorrow and streams of blood.

Today was so pretty, the sun occasionally peaking through the clouds, guided by a light breeze. It's a shame I am all alone. A train that glides through the mountains and a conductor addicted to that feeling. We are so selfish, doing things with no regard for others. Thus, discarded like a doll, I now sit against this mountainside with glass and steel glittering in the sun, draining the warmth and emotion out of my body.

Thank you, God. I will die seeing such a beautiful sight. The last of life faded from my cheeks as the world I thought I would be ready to leave, lost its color.

I lived my life with no regrets for this moment. I should be welcoming this opportunity. I have been faithful my entire life, so why God? You hold out your hand; I know Heaven is waiting; I should be reaching for your hand. Everything hurts, but I want to live. Why? This world ripped me apart and put me back together just to destroy me again. Yet, the people. It was my home, and the people there were a part of my family. Those who stood by my side made it bearable. I don't want to leave them. But...this is the end for Myra.

In whispers that only God could hear, "I enjoyed it while it lasted"

"You've done well, my good and faithful servant".

The rain continued to fall, playing one last song for me as my mind wavered.

Darkness. Water?

A pure light appeared by my side before I could get up. God.

"How could this happen? All these people are going to die." A voice pierced my skull.

What? From the other side of me, the void began to break. Light poured through, revealing a woman. Her mangled body laid on a ground floor, dripping in blood with the same lifeless eyes as me, yet still, tears flowed from them.

"I had no other options."

Her voice faded, resentment present in the air around us. What is going on?

"God, I am done. Please just let me die. I am done serving humanity and living in this flawed world. Please. I know I am partially responsible for the future of my people, but please. I just want to be at peace. You are God, please.... Let me rest. Please."

I could feel the desperation in her voice. I have felt the same way many times, begging God to just kill me. We are awful beings: selfish and disgusting. Our world reflects it. I understand how you feel.

A light gathered around her body and a shimmering spirit appeared before me, clasping my hand,

"Do you?" her figure sparked. What?

The water around me swelled up in a tornado of shimmering reflections. What the hell? The same voice echoed in my ears as fragments of distant memories flashed in front of my eyes.