Secrets Can Kill

Chapter 3: Help

"I was ashamed," Emily cried into Spencer's neck.

"Why? We're your best friends?" Hanna asked rhetorically.

"Em, you need to get help, I know great rehabs for you," Spencer said soothingly, but felt Emily tense beside her.

"No! No rehabs Spence, I can't," she cried.

"You have to get better, you have a problem," Spencer said.

"I can't I have swimming and my mom will go crazy. Please you guys my mom can't know, she can't find out. I'll do anything. She's already stressed enough, please promise me you guys won't tell her," Emily sobbed.

"Emily you can't take care of everyone, she's your mom, and you have to get better," Alison tried to reason.

"Please Spence you can help get me clean right? Without anyone finding out?" Emily pleaded. "If Stanford finds out I do drugs, my scholarship will be taken away, no other school will consider me. With A knowing, it changes everything. The school could ask me to take a drug test at anytime". Spencer sighed knowing how important this was to Emily.

"Emily I will help get you clean, but I can't keep you that way. You have to have enough strength to stay that way. You have to want it for you," Spencer said seriously.

"I do Spence, I want it, and I just don't want everyone knowing. Everyone will talk. I don't want them to keep staring at me".

"Okay, I'll help you," Spencer says. "Someone pass me a pen and pad". Aria starts to look around and finds one. "Emily, if I'm going to help you I need to ask questions and you have to answer them honestly. Nothing that is said in this room will be repeated by any of us. We're not judging, okay?" she says and Emily nods while wiping her nose in her shirt. Spencer decided to pull up a chair and sit in front of Emily while the girls stood around the room.

"What's your height and weight?" "5'8" and128 lbs."

"What kinds of pills do you take?" "Oxycodone, Xanax, Hydrocodone, Valium"

"How many do you take a day?" "Anywhere from 4 to 8"

"What are the side effects?" "Vomiting, headaches, loss of appetite, sleepiness, irritability, cold sweats"

"What's your emotional state before taking them?" "I'm either in pain or I'm depressed"

"Do you ever get suicidal?" "Yes"

At that Hanna and Alison let out a whimper and Emily looks down to her hands.

"Hey we're not judging you Em, we're just scared," Spencer comforted.

"How long does the high last?" "A few hours, depending on my activity level"

"Have you ever used injections?" "No, never"

"What's your sex drive the past few weeks?" "Really low"

"Explain," "I can't" Emily replied and let out a whimper.

"Hey it's okay, we're all here for you, no judgment".

"It's like I can't even look in the mirror anymore, let alone have anyone touch me in a sexual manner. I just feel gross," she said letting the tears fall freely.

"When did you start taking pills?" "After I tore my rotator cuff"

"No I mean when did you start taking them recreationally?" "After Maya's body was found"

"Do you mix it with alcohol?" "It was only that one time when I couldn't remember anything I did that entire night and woke up at Alison's grave with a shovel"