The first day I met him, I flipped. Honestly, one look at him and I became a lunatic. It's his eyes. Something in his eyes. They're blue, and framed in the blackness of his lashes, they're dazzling. Absolutely breathtaking. The way they sparkle as he laughs, and when he's just happy? There is nothing so beautiful in all the world that I wouldn't do anything to make him smile like that.
I'm not sure what it was about him. Maybe it was the fact that I wasn't used to seeing someone with such pretty eyes. Maybe it was just because he was handsome, or maybe it was because he was my only friend, but I just couldn't stop staring at him.
"You know, you don't have to stare." He teased me with a smirk on his face, and I felt myself blush. Oh God. My heart was racing! How could he be this attractive?! He was gorgeous. And so smart! He had an interesting way of talking that made me question everything I ever heard before. Everything seemed so simple around him. His words were like music to my ears. I didn't even realize how much I needed someone to talk to until I' d met him. He made me feel safe. Even though we hadn't spoken since our first meeting, the feeling between us still lingered. I never thought he would want to spend time with someone as awkward as me, but here he was. We were friends. Just friends. That meant nothing else.
That night I told him everything. Everything. I couldn't stop telling him. He knew me better than anyone ever had. Not even my parents.
That next night, after spending another sleepless night worrying over the fact that there's no chance of us becoming more, I found him sitting beside me. He must've been waiting for me. For some reason he always did that. When I told him about the conversation I overheard from the hallway, he told me to leave the cafeteria early. But what does that mean? He told me to go home early? Why is he acting like this? Why won't he tell me why he's suddenly being so nice? What do I have that he wants so badly? Why can't I see through him? It was almost impossible to believe that I was talking to the same person who was sitting on the other side of me right now, but I wasn't joking. I really did get to see something different about him tonight. He was the most amazing person I' d ever met.
He gave me a soft smile, and then whispered something to me in a language I don't understand. I wish I did, because I would ask him for the translation. I watched him stand up, grab his things and then walk away. Before he completely disappeared into the crowd, I asked him if he' d gone home yet.
"No," he replied quietly, as his eyes met mine again. "I'll see you tomorrow?"
And then he left.
And I never saw him again.
~*~
Two years later, I'm still looking back, wondering what happened. I still wonder about why he never came back. Was he avoiding me? Had he found someone new? Someone that he truly loved? All those questions are swirling around inside me, and I can't seem to figure out which one's correct.
But I know that one thing's for certain: the boy from two years ago isn' t him anymore.
It was two years ago that he told me he loved me. Two years ago that I told him he loves me too. And two years ago that we kissed.
I'm glad that we kissed. I love kissing him. Kissing is the only place where I feel safe. Whenever I'm with him, I feel safe. It makes me feel warm inside. I'm glad that the two of us got together. After three years of trying and failing, he finally said yes.
When we first met, he told me that he wanted me to go to college. Of course, I wasn' t going anywhere. My mom and dad work a lot, and I don' t have any money saved up. I'm not going to college. I'm going to stay home and take care of them. I'm going to be their little girl forever.
So, I went to college. I took classes online, and I worked hard to get good grades. I studied every night, i will go to university. And i will find him.
