OS- Malishka's Heart

My Heart

Rishi and Malishka = Rishka. Drawing a heart around our names, I looked at the stack of our engagement photos in front of me. 

We had been together for years. Truly happy together. Our relationship was perfect in front of our eyes.  There was companionship and friendship, and honesty and loyalty, and a sense of tradition and modernity, we were just right. We had everything. Both were financially independent, tick.  Family's approval, tick. Understanding, tick.  Romance and passion, tick. Ain't this what happy and lucky people have? 

Too good to be true, right? 

The truth of three months back, but not anymore.  

As I kept the legal documents for my companies' new business in front of me, I thought of Rishi, my ex-boyfriend, no...my boyfriend,  was in his house with another woman, who became his legally wedded wife.  No doubt, she is a nice polite lady, no grudges against her. Had she known the truth,  she would have never married my man. But my man is falling for her, I see it in his eyes and I get more insecure.  My insecurity leads to me do some possessive and aggressive acts, which  has made him angry. I feel the distance between us has widened and this has led to more insecurities.  This lunatic  cycle has been on repeat. 

I was a good girl. But no one would believe that? Everyone is sitting around shipping the two!  Rishi and Lakshmi = Rishmi.  

How is it my fault that Rishi is falling for her? Just because I did love him and our circumstances led up to that one marriage, how is it my fault that I am feeling insecure. Who would not feel insecure in this state?  If your boyfriend married someone else, even when everyone knows this marriage is until the Markesh Dosh ends, wouldn't you feel insecure at some stage?  

And why do people have to suffer?  I am hurt. Lakshmi will be hurt after one year when Rishi breaks up with her, or if he does not, then I'll be hurt.  

This is so complicated but everyone is quick to say that I'm at fault! 

Can we take a moment and blame our circumstances maybe?  No, it's all part of destiny and bit of our decisions and choices we make in life. That's right! 

I want to hold on to him until my last breath. Wouldn't you have done the same,  until the last glimpse of hope. Then maybe I'll either rise like a phoenix or drown in the pain. I just want it to be like it used to be, without the Markesh Dosh, without this new marriage.  

May either we unite forever, or I learn to accept the new truth. Stay with me, Mom, you are the only one I have now.  

With tears that blurred my vision,  drops fell on my document and missed my sign by a few centimeters.  Malishka! Get yourself of your control, you have your business at stake. Now the last thing I would want is to be in this one-sized relationship and a flopped business. I'll have to find control and ensure my business doesn't fall apart because of my personal life!  

Unclustering of my thoughts and self-motivation were needed for me to move on until my personal judgement day arrives. Good actions and good behavior and concentration on my business, and people  have a hard time hating someone so good. 

Just 9 months more, until the judgement day. 

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