Trust In Me (Triplets book 2)

Chapter 19

Shay took her time looking around the apartment. It was warm and comfortable, just like Nate. Hardwood floors, large leather couches, throw rugs, and lamps made the room cozy. It was one giant open space with a kitchen on one side and a bed on the other.

Shay quickly looked away from the bed. Now that her moment of courage had passed, she wanted to run in the other direction. Why had she blurted it out as she had? What must he think of her?

"Would you like a drink?" he asked as he poured himself a glass of amber liquid with a shaky hand.

"No, thank you. Perhaps I should go," Shay suggested as she moved toward the door. The least she could do was give him an easy out in a way that wouldn't hurt her feelings.

"No, you chose to open the door. In fact, You didn't just open it, you kicked it down, and now you will stay, and we will figure out what's on the other side together." He knocked his drink back in one swallow and set the glass down, motioning for her to join him on the couch.

"I-" Shay was at a loss as to where she should begin as her legs trembled. She should have planned it all better. What was she thinking?

"Why?' he asked, leaning forward and placing his hand between his knees as he looked at the design on the carpet. He must realize Shay was having trouble focusing, so he diverted his gaze and didn't look directly at her.

"Why did I ask you, or why don't I enjoy sex?' Shay's voice was barely audible as she licked her lips nervously. Maybe she should have taken a drink. Was it too late to ask for one?

"Both," he said, taking a steadying breath. He was nervous, which made Shay feel a little better about the situation.

She shrugged. "I trust you, and I'm attracted to you. I've never experienced those things before, and the fact that I feel both of those things for you feels...liberating. I feel like I could have a normal experience, feel like a normal person." Shay plucked at an imaginary string on her pants while Nate waited for her to continue.

"Brody Peyton was my only boyfriend. We started dating when I was seventeen and dated until we were seniors in college." Shay cleared her throat. "I've never told anyone this, ever." She felt like crying.

"I – I used to take the stairs to work every morning. Then I injured my foot and had to take the elevator for a week. I never stopped taking the elevator after that, and I made sure always to take it at the same time every morning." Nate's eyes met hers as he gave her a tender smile, "because I knew you would be there."

Shay gave him a watery smile back.

"The first time I had sex, I changed my mind at the last minute and told him I didn't want to anymore. He called me a tease and a fake. He told me it would probably be my last chance, and I would be an old maid because no one would want a beanpole like me. Then he said it would be fine and I would get used to it. I fought a little bit, but I gave in because I figured he was right." Shay sniffed. "You have no idea what growing up in L. A. was like. Everyone was perfect, and if you had the tiniest flaw, everyone made sure to tell you about it. It was twice as bad for me because my parents were famous."

Shay cringed. She felt like the seventeen-year-old making excuses all over again.

"The second time, he told me I had already done it, so what did it matter if we did it again. We were dating, and that meant we had to have sex. Everyone expected it." Shay stood and started pacing, wrapping her arms around herself. It all happened gradually, and eventually, I stopped telling him no and just accepted that it was part of being in a relationship."

Shay looked at her feet as she was sucked back into the past. "Every time, I hated it. Every time it hurt."

She shrugged again. "I had no interest in a physical relationship with anyone after that until I met you."