Growing Pains

Chapter 72 - Apathy had kept its grip on me

S K Y L A R

The months had gone by like crossing items off a to-do list, with the satisfying sense of accomplishment of having made it through the passing of time, of having moved forward with it, instead of being left behind, too sluggish and unconcerned to keep up. Apathy had kept its grip on me for years, like a caterpillar's cocoon, keeping me dormant. I had spent my days in a stage of complete lethargy.

It was Spring and I had metamorphosed. Kylie was throwing a party at her house, a Victorian construction in the suburbs that looked too much like a doll's house not to have been inspired by one. There was expensive art on the walls, big chandeliers, bigger Persian rugs, a fairy tale garden in the back. I couldn't believe her parents had agreed to have a bunch of sticky raunchy teenagers over, but according to her, they had, on the condition that most of the rooms were kept out of limits, and that everything looked like they had left it when they came back from their weekend retreat.

I was sitting on the bathtub, feeling too dizzy to stand, watching Allora retouch her makeup in front of the mirror, and Kylie was sitting next to me, a bottle of wine against her lips, her head on my shoulder. It felt like we had been in the bathroom for hours.

Kylie passed me the bottle and said, "I'm fucked up."

I took a sip. My head felt too heavy on my shoulders, my cheeks too warm, my hands too cold against the bottle, almost empty already. The loud music playing everywhere downstairs made it only faintly into the bathroom, but Allora sang along to it nonetheless, completely out of tune, leaning closer to finish her eyeliner.

When she was done, she turned around, and smirked, "We should play fuck, marry, kill."

Kylie rolled her eyes next to me, "We've played that so many times –"

"Not with Sky, we haven't," she protested, coming to sit with us inside the bathtub.

I opened my mouth to say it was fine, that I didn't really want to play it anyway, mostly because I didn't know how to, but Kylie was faster.

"Fuck, you're right!"

"I know!" Allora smiled, "Let me think."

I took another sip of wine and waited.

"Oh, I know!" Kylie said. "Do Edward, Isaac, and Ethan. Fuck, marry, kill. Go."

"Aren't Edward and Isaac dating?" I asked. I didn't like this game.

"So?" Kylie said, taking the bottle back from my hands to finish it.

"So I don't really see them as possible sexual partners," I explained.

They both groaned, and said, "They could be bisexual, Sky. Just do it."

"I don't know," I said. "Aren't we sexualizing them –"

"What is wrong with you?" Kylie stopped me. "Stop overthinking this."

"Right, right, I'll go," Allora said, a pretty smile on her lips. "I would marry Ethan, fuck Isaac, and kill Edward."

"You would kill Edward?" Kylie asked, leaning closer to me so she could look confused at Allora. She smelled like perfume and wine. 

"I said what I said." She shrugged, "Your turn, Kylie. Fuck, marry, kill. Tristan, Luke, and Liam Chan. Go."

"I would kill them all."

I laughed. Allora rolled her eyes, "You can't do that."

"Kill myself?"

This time I didn't laugh, but Allora did roll her eyes again, "Can't do that either."

"Right, I would fuck Liam Chan, kill Tristan, and marry Luke, so I could frame him for murder. Happy?"