Disclaimer For Pep

Beware! (But please buy it)

I do not claim responsibility for the loss of your elbow. I did not take it nor plan to. Any injuries to your elbow that occur during the use of this product does not acclaim any responsibility to myself. This is because I am a Heaven-sent angel and nothing you can say will change my opinion of that matter. When I came to earth from the Heavens I was told to damage as many people's souls as possible. Your soul could be next! 

Serious infringement on the 56th amendment may occur during the use of this product. Other symptoms include Christianity, a sudden feeling as if you are made of play-doh, and the beatification of your liver. I again do not claim any responsibility, and it is all your fault. 

I will not attend your funeral, nor will you attend mine. The music that is to be played at your funeral is the song "Wouldn't It Be Nice?" by the Beach Boys on repeat. Any failure to oblige with this music selection will result in the mutilation of your dead pancreas. This is a very dire consequence and should be heeded with extreme caution. You are very scared. You are trembling in fear, in reconciliation. You do not want your pancreas removed. You need them as an admission into Heaven or Hell (your choosing). 

Your appendix may also be removed if it is deemed necessary by society and its social constructs surrounding systematic fishism. You may also be supervised by the vast squeezers that populate Knotts Berry Farm. Do not be afraid, for you will be in a worse place in which you are now. 

Mickey Mouse may also proceed to may your empty coffin a visit and proceed to inhabitant it. He does not care how much that coffin set your family back. He needs a bed. And your coffin is the best option. He may also take your last meal from your stomach, when he finds your body. He will then proceed to exclaim "OH YOU BETCHA! HOT DIGGITY DOG DAY!" while fondling your spouse whether it be human or banana. If your banana spouse happens to be a pathological liar, then The Mouse will attend to some duties that he must oversee in Southwesterneast Africa. How will he arrive at such a destination? Striped Airlines. 

Warning! Do not allow seniors over the age of 10 to use this product, whatever it may be I'm not entirely sure. However, you must note that Pep is very hazardous to the animal's health, both physically and mentally. This explicitly stated in a "Donald Sucks" episode premiering on Disney-Plus and the US Constitution. In the Constitution, it states that "One may not use Pep if you are older than 10.59345834908 years." This is true and absolute fact and was not in any way made up for the use of propaganda in the favor of the radical Tea Party political standpoint. We do not endorse the indoctrination of the middle aged, but do support the abuse of the elderly, especially your grandmother. We are very proud to claim such things. We deny all accusations of ageism.

One may not use the word "keyboard" in any public circumstances when in the use of this product and in the 798-kjh-909 hour period after using it. This may result in any person exactly 98kj379h485 feet away from you being mutilated immediately. This is not hazardous to the health of a guinea piggin specimen but may affect your health drastically if you were to ever debate openly with public speaker "Ben Shapiro." 

Any encounters with mechanic Garfield (the rather large orange feline) may result in serious victim-hood for the entirety of the rest of one's life and would be smartly avoided in fear of living and full and complete life. Oddy also advises eating a large amount of Dirk Dinkum before the process of execution is fully carried out as a political call for freedom, an Orwellian concept. This is necessary for the progression of the South as the color orange always says. This disclaimer was funded by that sheep's fur that swallowed characters from the Garfield show. 

But otherwise, we completely encourage the use of this product.