How Could You? (A Johnlock Fanfic)

The Call

AN!

You don't have to, but I recommend listening to either "I'm Gonna Show You Crazy" by Bebe Rhexa or "Ten Things I Hate About You" by Leah Kate. I based most of this chapter off these songs. Please no hate, I was just an idea.

Sherlocks POV

True to his word, John phoned up Mary that very morning. All I could hear from the other room was an occasional anguished sob from, who I hoped was, Mary. All of a sudden, the sobs turned to shouts ; John had her on speakerphone and even though the kitchen door was closed, I could hear her screams.

"How could you do this to me John? I thought you loved me?"

"Mary, you were a friend when I had no one else. How can you not see that I wasn't grieving for a friend, I was grieving for my lost chances, my lost love?!" 

"He's irrelevant! Just because he's suddenly back from the dead doesn't mean he can break in here and turn you against me!"

"I wasn't against you, but now I am. You didn't even try to understand the emotions I was feeling! I told Sherlock that you stopped me from killing myself, whats he going to say when he realises that actually I only did it for him?! That's right Mary, we're done."

"You can't do this, you're being crazy. You don't know what I'm capable of!"

I'm going to tell you this now, Mary. When Sherlock was dead I sat by his grave wishing for him to come back, even after you, reminiscing all the cases we've ever been on. What people forget is I was a soldier. Flip a switch and I can kill in cold blood. When he jumped, I had nothing. There was a war inside my head, sometimes I wished that I was dead, I was broken. So I called a therapist and she said 'Sir, there's nothing I can do, so take these.' I was tired of trying to be ok, always overthinking, 'what if I could've helped?' I drove myself crazy, SO WHAT if I'm fucking crazy? I DON'T NEED YOUR QUICK FIX! JUST BECAUSE YOU SAY I'M CRAZY, SO WHAT, MARY, SO WHAT IF I'M FUCKING CRAZY? I could show you loco, maniac, psychopath, mental, out my brain, but there's nothing wrong with my mind. Flip a switch and you're done. But you wouldn't want that Mary, trust me. I love Sherlock, not you. End of story."

"I thought I helped you, you son of a bitch, you don't know what I can do. Give me 10 reasons to hate me! Go on!!"

"Easy: 10. You're selfish, 9. You're jaded, 8. The dumbest bitch I've dated, 7. All you wanted was my money, only 6 seconds and I had to fake it, 5. You're toxic, 4. You cheated, 3. You still got family issues, 2 years of your bullshit I can't undo, 1. I hate the fact that you made me love you. What a mistake that was." 

"I never made you love me."

"That's what I thought at the beginning. Come get your crap then leave."

And with that he hung up the phone and opened the door to the kitchen.