This was HOME

HOME

A frowsy breeze of air damped the flesh of my skin, until such smell became fetid. Dry leaves are falling as if it was the first day of spring.

"Con vida!" greetings from a lady and two gentlemen whose same age as mine, while sticking up the index and middle fingers and pointed it down. It was the symbol of greetings we grew up to, every person alive above this world. I greet these hollow faces back with the sign. Hollow faces--that's how I visualize this people around me. They are alive yet they all look dead. I don't know why they seem dead to me. 

As I was walking on the alleys, I always wondered what's behind those manholes. Every manhole, there's an 'X' sign and words ‘Highly restricted. Do not open!’ are painted. Since I knew consciousness, my curiosity is driving me crazy on what's behind those manholes. We grew up living with those questions and curiosity. It's still a facade for me to live in this world, it's a paradise as they said yet there's so much missing. It feels mundane and empty.

We live in a world where we don't actually have our real identity. No mother to look for us, no father to look up to. No family to call. I don't know why? It was a mystery to all of us. People in here don't recognize family. They only believe in their existence not knowing who brought our existence.

They don't have any idea how they brought to this world. But I have. 

I know I was born by a human. I only knew that when I found a family picture on my necklace. 

"Amari!" The voice, calling my name got my attention. "I was looking for you. It's been an hour since you left Nayon. What happened?" Elias asked. Elias is my best friend; we grew up together...in this world. Nayon is what we call this paradise we live in.

I didn't answer him, I just rolled my eyes at him to tease him. I diverted my gaze back at the manhole. Suddenly, an unfamiliar noise is clattering in my ears. 

"Amari!" Elias called me again.

"Shhh!" I signaled him to keep quiet. 

"What's it?" He confusedly asked.

"I heard unfamiliar noises on this manhole every day," I said to him. His thick eyebrows meet, as a sign of confusion devoured his face.

"What are you talking? I didn't hear anything. You're just tired, let's go hom--" Before he could finish his statement, I interrupted him.

"You're not believing me again?" I always told Elias this strange occurrence of mine, but he always refuses to believe me. He always thinks that it was just my hallucinations--I thought at first too. But it's not the same anymore, it's more than just my hallucinations; it's real. I know that in my self, because I encountered it several times. 

"Amari, it's not that way--" 

"Stop explaining yourself, Elias. I already get it. You never believed in me." I turn to his back. 

"It's not that I don't believe in you, it's just impossible--"

"I said stop!" I yelled at him unexpectedly due to my disappointment. My guilt just embraces me when I realized what have I done. "Just go," I calmly said and gave him way. "I promise I'll go home. I just need some time for myself."

"You always have time for yourself. How about the people around you? Why not give them time to be with you?" he said. I know what Elias was pertaining. He was pertaining to the way I distant myself from people around me lately. Since I found out about the necklace with a family photo, I started to unravel things that made me question of my existence. Due to my eagerness to find the truth about my family, I forgot the people that surrounds me.