Give Me Love - A One Direction FanFiction (ON HOLD)

Chapter 15 - Then We'll Crash, Crash, Right Down Again

CHAPTER 15

Zayn's Perspective

"So you wanna go out today?" I asked Amanda as she pushed her cereal around in her bowl across from me. "I can't, I'm going out with the girls." She replied, not making eye contact with me. This morning when I had woken up, I had found Amanda curled up on the other side of the bed, as far away from me as possible, and I was confused as to why.

"Amanda, what's wrong?" I asked softly, reaching over and placing my hand over hers to stop her from playing with her food. Her green eyes flashed up to meet mine and I realized that they had lost some of their light. "Nothing." She mumbled, looking down again.

I clenched my jaw before walking around the bench and swiveling her chair so that she was facing me. I gently placed my thumb under her chin and pushed her face up so that she was looking at me again. "What's wrong babe?" I asked again with a firm tone. A single tear fell from Amanda's eye and she tried furiously to pull away.

"Amanda! Tell me! I don't like seeing you like this!" I demanded, my patience running thin. She swiveled and hopped of her chair, walking over to the couch and sitting by herself. Trying to keep calm, I walked over and sat beside Amanda, not touching her as not to not provoke her. "Amanda, is this about what Harry said?" I asked softly with the sudden realization.

Amanda broke into tears and buried her face in her hands, sobbing maniacally. "Why are you crying babe? You know what he said isn't true!" I tried to wrap my arms around her shoulders but she shrugged me off and slid further away from me. "You have NO IDEA how fucking true his words were, Zayn. I'm NOT good for you, I'm not good for your band, I'm not good for-for ME!" She exclaimed, wild eyes searching mine.

"How could you even say that?! You're so wrong!" I yelled, frowning deeply at her words. "You don't get it Zayn, do you? I'm DAMAGED, I'm fucked up, I am a fucking lost hope. And I don't want to ruin you!" She sobbed, her voice hitching in different places.

I stood suddenly and glared down at her. "Stop fucking SAYING that! You're PERFECT! Harry was being a prick and trying to get under your skin, and it obviously worked!" I fumed, watching as she curled up into herself. Without a word, she got up and walked towards our bedroom door. "What are you doing?!" I asked, following close behind. "I'm telling the girls I can't make it. I'm leaving." She said in a small voice, shutting the door.

I turned the knob and found that Amanda had locked it. "WHAT?! YOU CAN NOT FUCKING LEAVE! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST IGNORE WHAT HARRY SAID?! DON'T DO THIS AMANDA!" I screamed through the door. I was met with a literal wall of silence which drove me mad. I put all my weight into the door and it swung open on its hinges, the lock breaking. There Amanda sat in the middle of the floor with a blade pressed to her wrist and tears streaming down her face.

My stomach dropped and I rushed over to her, grabbing the hand that held the blade. "NO! LET ME GO!" Amanda screamed as I pried it from her bloody fingers. I threw it onto my dresser so she couldn't reach and pulled her tightly into my chest. She screamed and cried, trying to break out of my grasp, but she seemed to give up and went limp, sobbing into my shoulder. I shushed her and stroked her head, just sitting with her and trying my best to calm her down.

"You know you're so much stronger than this babe, you don't have to do this." I whispered, still trying to calm her down. Her erratic sobs shook through her body, not easing up. "I love you so much, don't ever think that you're not good enough." I pressed my lips to her hair and clasped her tightly to me, rocking back and forth.

I picked Amanda up bridal style and carried her to my bathroom, sitting her on the toilet seat. I went to my medicine cabinet and pulled out disinfectant and a bandage. I slowly approached her as to not frighten her, but she was in her own world to even notice me. I carefully cleaned her cuts before wrapping her wrist and finishing it with a soft kiss, but her eyes were still emotionless.