Labyrinth of Life

Chapter 5

From the moment I left my home until right this moment, I wasn't able to get far from the house because of the tears that blurred my vision. I was only able to make it over to the next street before I had to pull over and allow the uncontrollable tears to pour down the sides of my face. Not only am I upset about what had just occurred with my parents, I'm mad at myself for crying about it and I hate that I'm hurting this much because of it. Was fighting for what I wanted worth getting kicked out and having no place to go? It's not too late to go back and apologize, but if I do, it only means that I'm giving in to the argument and that I will be agreeing to get married to whomever they tell me to, according to their timeline. And truthfully speaking, that is the last thing that I want. This means that I need to find an alternative place for me to stay since I am no longer welcome at home.

As I continue to think about what just happened and what I'm going to do next, my cries begin to turn into sobs, and I find myself struggling to breathe. The only thing my mind can focus on is the fact that my heart seems to be beating uncontrollably fast while my head begins to throb. I grip the steering wheel with my sweaty palms and bring my head down to my chest. With my eyes shut tight, I force my unsteady breaths into controlled and balanced ones. It's infrequent that my cries turn into uncontrollable sobs that leave me in this state, but the only common factor behind it is my mom. I only get like this whenever I have a heated argument with her. So, over the years, I've learned how to bring myself back to a normal state of mind whenever I get like this. Although it only takes about five minutes to control my shaky, panicked breaths and normalize my heart rate, it always feels like the longest five minutes of my life.

After what feels like forever, I am no longer a sweaty, crying, and snotty mess, and the pounding in my head finally subsides. Thankfully, the uncontrollable tears have finally stopped streaming down my face, which means that my vision is back to normal again. Once I finally straighten myself up in my nylon black seat and open my eyes, I fixate my gaze on the rosary around my rear-view mirror. "At least we tried, God," I said out loud with a sigh.

I reach for the glove compartment, where I recall leaving my phone earlier in the day and finally take it out. In hopes that my mom or dad may have called, to tell me to come back home, I eagerly unlock my phone. But instead of seeing what I had hoped for, I see five missed calls from Jonathan and a text that reads, Are you okay? Where are you? I know I have to update him on the events of the afternoon, but right now, I don't want to talk, or even think about the argument with my parents. If I do, I'll only begin to cry again. So instead, I unlock my phone and go to my call logs. In hopes that she answers, the first person I call is Rosi, and thankfully, she answers after the third ring. "Hey, what's up?"

"Hey, is Mina still over?" I asked

"Yeah, she's finally starting to eat something. How come?"

"Extended sleepover tonight? If Mina's down too." I asked

"You want to have a spontaneous sleepover? Ren, is everything alright?" she asked in a concerned yet surprised tone. I know that the only reason why Rosi questions the spontaneity of my suggestion is because my parents rarely let me sleep over at a friend's house. The few times they've said yes was practically when I begged for it. And even then, if I hadn't given my parents a two-week notice, the answer, probably, would have been a no. "Kind of, yeah. But are you guys down? It's alright if you aren't." If they don't want to have a sleepover tonight, I can get myself a hotel for the night and figure out the rest later.

"Mina already started nodding her head at the words, 'spontaneous sleepover,' which means hell yes, we are down. Get your ass over here." She said before she hung up the phone. I could have spent the night at Jonathan's place, but after everything that transpired today, I'm way too embarrassed to face Jared Mama and Lolita Aunty. Although I have a lot of respect for them and think of them as my second parents, a part of me is upset at them for basically forcing marriage onto both me and Jonathan, instead of allowing it to be an option.