The Virile Cowboy

Chapter 3

Jillian

I studied my reflection in the old, cracked mirror on the back of Gram's bedroom door. The freckles and acne were long gone, but the sad, lonely eyes were still there.

Was there ever a time in my life when I wasn't alone?

Not really.

It was just me and Gram when I was a kid. My mother got pregnant at sixteen. She took off right after I was born, making the occasional appearance throughout my childhood. Her visits were short, usually ending with her storming out the door when Gram wouldn't give her money.

Gram had a busy social life. I always felt like a burden. It wasn't her fault. My grandfather was killed in a car accident when she was pregnant with my mother. She raised her child by herself. And just when she was about to have her freedom, she got saddled with another kid.

She put a roof over my head, and kept my belly full. I knew she loved me, but affection wasn't her strong suit. Hugs and kisses were rare. If I tried to talk to her about a problem, she would usually pat my head and tell me everything was fine. Then she would jump in her bug and take off to Bingo, or lunch with her friends.

I spent my twenties alone. The characters in my books kept me company. When I got married at age thirty, I thought I'd finally have the family I always longed for. The joke was on me. My husband was a lawyer, and a workaholic. We tried unsuccessfully to get pregnant for the entire seven years we were married.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You're rich and successful. Get a cat if you're lonely.

"Jillian!" Deanne hollered. "Where are you?!"

I headed out to the kitchen. "How did you get in?" I asked.

"The key under the mat on the porch, silly."

"Give me that," I ordered, holding out my hand.

"Your grandmother kept it there for emergencies. In case she fell or something, and I needed to get in."

"What was the emergency tonight?"

"I was afraid you were gonna back out of the reunion."

"That is not an emergency."

"I disagree. And I'm very glad to see you dressed. I thought I was gonna have a battle on my hands."

"I agreed to go," I sighed.

"You look good, Jilly. That dress really suits you."

"I had to buy a dress at Fran's! I look like I'm going to church!"

"It is a tad conservative," she agreed. "But teal is a nice colour on you."

"You know what? I don't care what these people think. If they wanna make fun of my old lady dress, let them."

"That's the spirit!" she cheered.

"Why does this feel more like a high school prom than a reunion?" I grumbled.

Our reunion was being held at the actual high school. The gym was decorated with balloons and streamers, with a giant Class of 2002 banner.

"Oh no," I groaned. "Why would they do that?"

"What?" Deanne asked, following my gaze to the massive screen on the far wall, displaying a slideshow of yearbook photos. "That was my idea."

"Why? Nobody wants to see that."

"Stop being such a drag."

"That's who I am."

"Relax, Jilly," she sighed. "Go find the bar."