I still love you just as much my purple, I don't even know what went wrong, I only remember loving you so much, please pol, are you...
Are you still mine?
"Sul...why are you..."
Startled, I look at him, then I felt it, my tears, dropping uncontrollably,
and I have not sobbed yet,
I have not crumbled,
or shattered in the slightest,
at least on the surface, I played it cool, smiling widely, lips pressed into a tight grin,
I'm okay, I am okay.
but since earlier,
my lips have been trembling,
my hands have been switching back and forth, trying to offer warmth,
trying to gather warmth,
same as what I once had with him,
begging for him to come back please right here in my arms,
but it feels pointless,
I had felt hopeless for the past 3 years,
I've been in this situation after we had met again, I can't seem to understand, why, and how we ended up here.
"Ha? Ah... D-Don't worry, uhm napuwing lang"
"You sure?"
The knot in my throat keeps me from speaking, making me choke back the words I needed out of my system, and nothing could be worst than this, nothing else, not even the way you left me three years ago, not even the way you walked out the door, telling me nothing and just leaving to come back like nothing happened. It's been killing me for the past 45 minutes, I just needed to hear it from you but I bet that you're not even thinking about it.
"..."
"Asul?"
I want to lie so bad. I want to fucking lie, but I don't wanna ruin what you already have, what happiness you have right now.
You look so well, without me and it's killing me that I am not by your side, but you have been the same as ever, with or without me, beaming like that, and like you have never ever been in any kind of pain, I just...
Just want you again, like the way I had you before.
"...Asul.."
I had remained silent, like how I did for the past three years, waited longingly, thoughts butchering me, questioning why did I have someone as lovely as you, leave me.
"Kausapin mo ako, please?"
And I felt it again, the thrumming inside my chest, exploding with dozens and dozenz of unsaid emotions, both joyful and regretful while his hand slowly crept up to mine wrapping around it, squeezing in encouragement as he looks at me worriedly, shifty gazes and a quivering lip. Why...
Why would you cry for me?
"Purple, I— still love you, I still want you, I've never ever wanted to be like this, When you left I— I was a mess p-pero I understand, I always do, may rason ka naman diba? I— Pol, at this point, it doesn't matter what you did, I just—"
"—I just need you back... Just need you, so bad"
"Heeseung...I'm so sorry,"
Like a bell ringing, it woke me up, from this long long dream.
