The Suicide Realm

 

Sylvias' POV

           It was a crisp October morning, and the cool air blowing in from my window nipped at me as I struggled to stay cocooned inside my thick and fluffy comforter. I quickly glanced over at the clock, and the digital numbers read out 5:30 AM. I knew I didn’t have to get up for another hour and a half, but with my many blankets not keeping me warm and my window permanently stuck open, I gathered up my many sheets of warmth and headed downstairs.

           I didn’t have to worry about waking anybody; it was a Monday morning so my mom and step-dad were long gone. I sauntered drearily around my living room before plopping down on the couch and flicking on the TV. The bright light stung my eyes, as I had been too lazy to turn on the lamp standing about 2 feet behind the couch.

           I squinted as I tried to get my eyes to adjust to the bright picture of our “older than dinosaur bones” TV, as I referred to it. It had a fairly large screen, but was very thick as it was from the B.FS (Before flat screens) era. But my mom felt no need to purchase another one, so here I was watching a TV that’s older than I am. After flipping around for about 10 minutes I came to the conclusion that there were no decent shows on at 5:30 in the morning.

            

With the intention of lazily sitting and watching TV diminished, I made my way to the kitchen and got myself a glass of water. I chugged it down, then continued to do the same with two more glasses. It wasn’t until after I realized that it wasn’t a good idea- wherever I walked you could hear water swishing around in my stomach. I quickly ran to the bathroom where I took the longest pee in the history of mankind.

             I finished up and looked in the mirror, my hair was everywhere and I looked like I belonged in the Thriller video. I smoothed out my hair with a brush, and watched as it hung limply with no volume. I thought it was suiting; it had just about as much life as I did. I quickly brushed my teeth and the mint toothpaste stung my mouth. I didn’t like mint, another thing that people make fun of me for. I rinsed and spit and looked into the mirror again.

          Even with my hair and teeth brushed, I still felt hideous. But that’s how I feel all the time. And the verbal abuse I get from the people at school doesn’t help. I thought about maybe faking sick to get out of school for the day, but my mom would never buy it. She seems to be like Sherlock Holmes when it comes to figuring out weather I’m lying or not.

                Seeing as I must face another horrid day in middle school, I dragged myself up the stairs to get dressed. The clock read 6:00, so I was in no rush. I picked out my favourite pair of black skinny jeans, with a loose white T-Shirt with a large gray skull printed on it. I plopped back down on my bed and grabbed the nearest sweater and draped it over myself to protect myself from the cool air emanating from my screwed up window.

             I reached out and grabbed my notebook from under my stuffed dog and my iPod from my dresser drawer. I popped in my earphones and I let shuffle take its course.

           I opened my notebook, and skimmed over to all the previous things I have written. I flipped to a new page and waited for inspiration. I thought about my only two friends, Aiden and Annalise. I chuckled to myself as I realized how both of their names started with A- probably because they’re A-worthy friends. Even when everybody else teased me and ridiculed me, they stayed by my side.

             My thoughts shifted from my friends to “him”. Him being Cole. He was the only guy that made my stomach flutter and heart soar. Unfortunately for me, Cole was one of the most popular guys in our grade and the only reason he noticed me is because we’re in the same class. He may be one of the only people to treat me like an actual human being, but that’s because he’s nice like that. He’d never actually think about dating me- even though he knows I’ve had a crush on him for a while. I feel like ever since he found out he judges me more harshly than he did before.

           With the thoughts of school, friends and feelings swirling around my head I unintentionally fell asleep. By the time I awoke, it was 8:30 and I was running late.

     I practically leaped down the staircase, grabbed my homework and stuffed into my open bag- I didn’t bother with breakfast or lunch because I don’t eat it anyways. I slipped on my stained white converse, went out and locked the door and made my way to the hellhole known as “school”.