JetBlackHeart (Short Story)

JetBlackHeart

JetBlackHeart

//Trigger warning//

This story contains violence which may triggering for some, please read at your own risk. 

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With my wide eyes, I looked at my hands now painted in dark red. I swallowed the lump on my throat and switched my eyes to the woman crying in front of me. Her eyes are a mirror of fear and disbelief.

Tinitigan ko muli ang mga kamay ko, isang patak ng pulang likido ang tumulo mula sa mga ito. I am feeling queasy with its sight. I wanted to vomit.

"A-anak". My mother uttered after some time.

Muli ko siyang binalingan ng tingin.

"A-anak".

I breathed deeply then looked at the side where he was lying down. Unang nakita ng aking mga mata ang kamay niyang nasa sahig, papunta sa kanyang katawan kung saan umaagos ang dugo. Then I saw his face, the face that I've hated for a long time. Bumalik ang titig ko sa dibdib niya kung nasaan ang kutsilyo.

My knees were too wobbly, so I rested them on the floor. Naramdaman ko ang basang sahig kung saan umabot ang dugong umaagos mula sa kanyang katawan. It was sticky and the room smelled like blood.

I closed my eyes and smelled my surroundings again. I breathed, my chest rising up and down.

"A-anak, a-anong ginawa mo?".

My eyes remained closed. I looked up, and I felt like smiling. I did. Then eventually, I laughed.

"A-anak k-ko". Tanging sabi niya, she kept on calling me but she couldn't seem to get close to me.

I wonder why?

When my eyes opened, I looked at my hands again, the red liquid was now slowly drying up. Ilang sandali lang ay naisipan kong tumayo, I was like a drunken person. Muntik pa akong matumba, but I held the door knob.

Ang mga tingin ko ay wala na sa aking mga kamay, nasa lalaking iyon na. I looked at him, disgust was written on my eyes. Everything he did was evil, he has no cent of goodness in him. I hate him and I pray everyday that he will just vanish in our life. That would give me the happiness I have been struggling to find.

Unti-unti akong lumapit sa kanya. Ramdam ko ang panlilisik ng aking mga mata. His eyes are now closed but I want him to see me, I want him to see me get my goddamn revenge for all the heartaches, for all the pain he brought us. Sa bawat sampal, suntok at sipa na natatanggap namin sa kanya, sa bawat masasakit na salitang lumalabas sa kanyang bibig, sa bawat kaba at takot na nararamdaman ko kapag nandiyan na siya sa aming tabi.

Before, I couldn't even look him in the eyes. I loathe him so much, just his simple footsteps makes me anxious.

But now, I want him to see me.

I sat near his body, then I looked at his disgusting face. My teeth are grinding. My knuckles are formed in a fist. Saka ko tinitigan ang kutsilyong nakatarak sa kanyang dibdib. Wala sa sariling kinuha ko iyon, mas maraming dugo ang umagos mula dito.

I traced the knife's pointy edge with my index finger. The blood was fresh, it was warm in my finger. Unti-unting tumulo ito mula sa aking daliri. I looked at it with fascination. I shifted my head from side to side, amazed by how warm and red his blood is. When I was a little child, I thought his blood was as black as his soul. Man, I just hate him so much he looks like the devil to me.

When the last drop of blood was about to fall, I had the urge to put my fingers in my mouth. I heard a gasp from the woman but I didn't care.

Napapikit ako nang masalo ng aking dila ang likido. It tasted warm and a little salty. Ngunit hindi ko ito nilunok, it stayed in my mouth, I was playing with it inside, until it mixed with my saliva.