This is a self-insert.
Gender: Non-binary
Warning: Major Spoilers! Angst! Cursing!Kim Dokja silently stared at the scene in front of him. His heart clenched with both longing and fulfillment as everyone gathered at his avatar who had carried 49% of his memories. This was the conclusion that he wanted— he wanted to be with them, yet Dokja was only able to grant this one. A life wherein his family could be at ease. A happy and fulfilled life without him.
The Original 'him' carried the remaining percentage of his memories— He was a greedy man like that. Dokja wanted to savor more of the memories he had spent with his company. And the life he had before TWSA became his reality.
He felt a presence beside him. His dark orbs held confusion as he recognized the familiar person. The said person also stared pitifully at the scene unfolding, their eyes held regret and grief.
It was silent before the person beside him spoke.
"Was this the only thing you could think of?" They asked softly. So soft that Dokja almost missed it.
There was a pregnant pause as the silence continued.
They held a bitter smile on their face. "Huh. Silly me, of course I knew. I always knew about your plan even before you thought about it."
Dokja remained silent as he let them talk. He could never utter a word.
"I've had these pieces of information about you— much of it that I could boast to everyone that I was the one who knew you the most." They chuckled, before resuming. "But I am not like you. I was never smart enough to change your conclusion. I-i—" they bit their trembling lips as tears started to gather in their eyes.
"I have tried but Kim Dokja was just a cunning, sacrificial bastard who would never let anyone do things for him. He was fucking selfless yet at the same time adamant of his suicidal decisions."
Strings of tears pooled down on their face. The man bit his lip as he gazed at the person. Yet Kim Dokja was never one to bring any comfort— he doesn't know how, so he just let them be.
"I wished you had remained oblivious about everything, so I could give you the conclusion you want. I-i wish you didn't have to fight back. And yet who am I to change the ending exactly? Those endings where they conclude in your suffering."
"In the end, I have to remind myself that I am just a reader. A fucking reader of this novel with a protagonist stuck in his dream." They wiped their tear- streamed face, hardening their stare. They watched as their companions held a happier expression this time.
"You could have been with them, you know?"
Kim Dokja bit his lip, "I thought we bear similar thoughts considering you are in the same predicament as I." He started before continuing. "It is true that we are readers which makes us gain the upper hand in this world—omniscience." Dokja flashed a close-eyed smile that was not on the same level as happiness. "But what I've learned after all of this is that being omniscient does not equate to omnipotent. We might have extensive knowledge about a certain thing, but there's only things that we can do— after all, we are not the protagonist. We're just readers, born to watch the protagonist's succession until the epilogue."
His eyes drifted to yoo Jonghyuk who was giving his avatar a soft glare,"and as readers, we only want what's best for the world we are familiar with, even if our existence here is not natural. I'd say you're a hypocrite for trying to hold me back from realizing my chosen conclusion."
The person's gaze hardens. Dokja's words held the truth— a painful one at that. (y/n) knew that they were being hypocritical, but that doesn't mean they'd stop being at it. You are my protagonist, not Yoo Jonghyuk! I AM the reader of YOUR story. I just want to help you even if it costs me my life and happiness. You don't have to think about sacrificing yourself for them since I AM here. I can make that happen. I—
They thought, swallowing a bile. The words were left unsaid, fearing that they might burst into snots and tears.
"I should have never loved a sacrificial rat named Kim Dokja."
The man mentioned chuckled at the statement. "We're both sacrificial rats."
He patted the person's head. "But we don't need to do that anymore. There might be someone who has read our story too, even if we think otherwise. In the end, it'd be a cycle of saving the protagonist and the reader sacrificing themselves for them."
The person huffed, "Of course, we don't need to suffer for them anymore. They're both far away from our reach. At Least, we have each other— I don't care if you find my presence overbearing. I'm going to stay whether you like it or not." They held Kim Dokja's hand, locking their eyes. "I want to stay here with you. I still love you despite everything. I mean I love everyone else too, but who'll stay with the other Kim Dokja? The one who suffered the most?"
They kissed Dokja's hand. The man stayed quiet, never reprimanding the other for showing such an intimate gesture. He knew that romantic tendencies were not involved— they're just acquaintances who understood each other more than anyone.
The two watched as their companions bickered and laughed; their figures growing little by little as they walked away from where they formerly stood. Joonghyuk and Sooyoung looked back, looking as if they missed something important. They managed to lock eyes with the two however the latter knew that the protagonist and the author could not see them. Afterall, it has always been like this. Readers were not meant to interfere with life beyond possible existence. They were only there to read and watch the character's actions.
The train began moving at a slow pace until everything seemed to be covered in all white.
And with that, Kim Dokja finally opened his eyes. It was time to face reality.
![](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/310279485-288-k214700.jpg)
YOU ARE READING
Reader
FanfictionKim Dokja had finally reached the conclusion he envisioned. A familiar person talks him about this. Note: I've never read the novel. I was just spoiled, so excuse me for misinformation. (T_T)