Pain. What is pain to me? To me its the fact that there is no pain. Even though I dont have the feeling pain I still understand the concept of it.
Pain to me is the deep nothingness that fills up my chest as it slowly eats me up. This forever pitt that takes away everything a regular human being has, I will never feel truly feel pain.
I will never feel anything and I hate that,
I hate that there's nothing there. Its like something is always missing, An unfinished puzzle.
Everything I do no matter how important or special it might be, it will all always be the same to me in the end. No matter how many accomplishments I make or how many prizes I win, no matter how many people are proud of me or how many friends I get, It doesn't change anything in my eyes. No matter how hard I try for it to matter it doesn't.
It's like a white wall, even if im sitting with a fkn president or on a concert with all the people I know listening to my favorite band, maybe sitting in a room of screaming kids or laying naked in the middle of the road in a snowstorm.
I'll still always be staring at that white wall while everyone else are painting theirs, some peoples paint buckets are lost and they search and search, maybe they finally find them or maybe they give up. But my paint bucket doesn't exist, It never will and thats pain to me.
- Ethan
YOU ARE READING
Diary of a sociopath
PoetryThis is my new notebook I've never really seen anything like this from a actual person with an ASPD so I thought why not just post here as my diary.
