Candy Hearts ||l.s||

chapter two

//TW: METOIN/KINDA IG. SUICIDE. if you are triggered by that please don't read.//

"Please, just put it down," i say my eyes tearing up. she shakes her head, she looks at me with pure hurt in her eyes. "i. no. i. cant" she says in between sobs. i take a step closer to her, and put my hand out. "baby please, look I'm sorry. we can work this out. we can get you help" i say trying to comfort her. she cocks the gun. "I'm sorry" she whispers, BANG

i sit up trying to catch my breath, franticly looking around realizing im in my room. i let out a sigh that sounded more like a sob. i put my head in my hands, and sit there for what felt like hours. i take a shaky breath and get out of bed and go to the bathroom. i look in the mirror and take a towel wetting it with cold water, and put it on my eyes. (fun fact: if you cry in the school bathroom and realize you have puffy eyes you can take a cold wet paper towel and put it there for a few seconds and the puffy red will be gone. don't ask how i know this) i take it off and wash my face. i try and calm down my fringe but give up and go pick out an outfit. i pick out a green adidas sweatshirt and black skinny jeans. 

i park my car in the studio parking lot, and walk in. "hi louis" Eleanor the desk lady says very happy and bubbly. a little to happy for my liking. i mumble out a little hi and nod my head. i walk into the waiting room at 6:45. Niall's in the corner eating pancakes and doesn't even look up when i walk in. Liam and Zayn both give me hello's. i sit in a near by chair and twiddle with my thumbs. 

after recording,  i get broken out of my thought by harry putting his hand on my shoulder 

"Hey, are you ok?" he asks looking a bit confused. "You look like you're about to cry." he asks giving me a little smile

 "Yes I'm fine" i say quickly, trying not to raise suspicion. 

"Louis, what's wrong?" he says with a change of tone. the tone being quite stern. 

i sigh and wait for a second. do i want to tell him? i need to tell someone sooner or later. maybe it will help. people always say talking helps. "I'll tell you later" i say caving into my thoughts. also trying to get him to go away. he likes to mess with me, tease me if you will. and im just not up for it today. 

he says a swift ok and walks away. 

. . . 

i get home and clean up because my dumb ass invited harry over without thinking. i check my phone, 6:00 pm. i text harry that he can come over now. i wait about five to six minutes then hear a knock at my door. i yell come in, a few seconds later i see harry walk in looking around with a cute smile. cute what the fuck.. no. lou think right. girlfriend. woman. girls.

i look up to see harry standing there confused. i wave my infront of his face. nothing 

 "Hey, are you ok? " i ask

"Yeah, I'm fine, just spaced out" he says giving me a lighter smile now. 

"oh, ok" i say believing him.

we sit in a very awkward silence. I've never minded silence. i just dont like it when its awkward.

"Um.. Do you want to sit down? " i say scooting over, trying to create conversion. 

we sit for a few more seconds, then he turns to me. "So what did you want to tell me about? "

the memory of anna start flooding back, i tear up and manage to choke out  "u-uhm well"

he scoots closer and signals if he can hug me, (a/n consent is hot) i nod and scoot closer. a tear or two slips down my cheek. i take a deep breath taking in his smell. "shh, take your time" he whispers to me. i get chills down my spine. 

"anna." i say trying not to cry more infront of harry. 

"she committed suicide. in font of me." i say i let out a load sob not caring anymore (you guys im about to cry rn-) 

harry holds me tighter, "shhh its okay love, im here." he says. i hear him sniffle. 

"i keep having nightmares, it just keeps replaying. over and over" i say in between sobs.

we sit there for a little bit till harry says "you want me to stay tonight just in case you have more?" he says his voice a bit raspy from crying. 

"yea that would be nice" i say trying not to sound despite. 

"mmk" he says ageist my hair.

we sit there for a while

 "lou" he says. lou? thats new.

"i should go to my house so i get some stuff so i can stay the night." he says separating our hug. and giving me this cu- nice smile. 

i rap my arm around myself trying to recreate the hug. i nod and watch him walk out the door and wave. 

hi! i hope you enjoyed i dont know how to feel about this chapter but its okay :) now go eat and drink water. now. or else i will put spoons in your bed. dont test me.

tpkw

and as always

dont eat yellow snow

-JJ