Pretend to Love Me ~Norray~ (DISCONTINUED)

Chapter 7.

A couple of weeks went by. Mathew and Ray got closer, they hung out every weekday after school. Norman figured that since he and Ray were now fake dating they would see even more of each other. But now he barely saw Ray. When he did it was just for a short while on the weekend. 'What is this logic?' He thought. 'Maybe I should make more of an effort.'

Norman thought about Ray a lot more than he used to. He had always known Ray better than anyone did. But now he was noticing little details about Ray. Like how he messed with his hair when he got nervous. 'It's rather cute.'  He thought with a smile. A sketchbook that used to be filled with drawings of landscapes, and random objects, is now filled with drawings of Ray.

Norman was sitting under a tree in the park. He had gone there to draw, but he didn't know what. He chewed on the end of the pencil. 'I wonder what Ray's doing right now. He's probably at the bookstore with Mathew.' He thought. He felt weird. "Ray is probably with Mathew," he said out loud this time. It left an unpleasant taste in his mouth. "Ray is alone with Mathew...God, why do I feel worried?" He said.

Norman's what if's flooded his brain. 'They're always together, what if Ray has caught feelings for him? No, he couldn't have, he can't...he wouldn't! But he might. What if Mathew likes him back? What if they start actually dating? What if he leaves me...?' Norman's thoughts overwhelmed him. "It shouldn't matter anyway...Ray can like whoever he wants, We aren't actually dating..." he whispered to himself.

The sunny day didn't seem so sunny anymore. Norman wanted to stop thinking about it. But he just couldn't. The thoughts wouldn't stop coming, it was consuming him. Like a black hole. He hid his face. He felt like he was going to throw up. He suffered from severe anxiety attacks quite often, not that anyone knew about them. He was good at hiding his emotions. He just wanted to be happy for everyone.

He wanted to see Ray. No. He needed to see Ray. 'Breathe...breathe' He told himself. He picked himself off the ground. Then took out his phone. He stared at Ray's contact for a minute. Then finally called him. It rang for what seemed like forever, and Norman feared he wouldn't answer.

He was already walking towards Ray's house as he waited for him to answer. There was a click then Norman heard Ray's voice. "Hey Norman, what's up?" Ray said through the phone. Norman was quiet. He couldn't speak. "Norman?" Ray asked again. Norman tried his best to breathe normally. "W-where— where are you...?" Norman asked his voice shaking. "I'm at home? Norman are you okay?" Ray became a little concerned. "Are..you...a-alone?" he asked, almost in a whisper. "Yeah," Ray replied. "Norman, what's wrong..?" Ray had never heard Norman like this. The distress, anxiousness, and fear he could hear in Norman's voice.

Norman didn't answer. He couldn't. He stayed on the phone with Ray. Ray kept pleading for Norman to say something. To let him know he was okay. "Norman please...! You're scaring me.." Ray was standing in his living room, he didn't know what was wrong. Then there was a knock on his door. He went over and was greeted by Norman.

Norman stood there barely breathing, his face tear-stained. Ray ended the call and looked at him. "Norman...?" He said softly reaching up and touching his face. Norman closed his eyes. Ray pulled him inside and sat him on the couch. "Norman? Please talk to me," he pleaded.

Norman pulled his knees up to his chest and hid his face in them. Ray hugged him. He rubbed Norman's arms. They stayed like this for a bit. Slowly Norman loosened up and eventually, he hugged Ray back. He buried his face in Ray's neck. Ray was comforting. He could breathe better, and he started to calm down.

"I'm sorry..." Norman whispered. Ray stroked his head. "Why?" Ray asked. "For breaking down like this..I'm sorry," he said. Ray didn't know what to say. He didn't want to make things worse. "You can always come to me," Ray said gently. Norman nodded slightly.

They sat in comfortable silence. Ray rubbed Norman's leg and Norman had his head resting on Ray's shoulder. Ray thought about what could have caused this. Norman barely ever cried. At least to Ray's knowledge that is. He wanted to ask but didn't know if he should. "It was an anxiety attack," Norman said softly.

Ray looked at him. "What?" "I get them....every now and then," Norman said. "How long...?" Ray could barely get the question out. "I don't know, since middle school maybe," Norman said. "Middle school— Norman why didn't you ever tell me you get anxiety attacks?" Ray asked. He was a little hurt Norman never told him. "I don't know...I'm sorry, I just didn't want you to worry," Norman said.

Ray sighed. "Norman— just...promise to tell me things like this okay?" Norman nodded. He looked at Ray. He caressed Ray's cheek, causing him to blush. He got closer to Ray. He had only a small hesitation before kissing Ray.
Norman's doubts washed away. He was here with Ray. He was the one kissing Ray. He was the one touching Ray's skin. It was him. Him. No one else. It was just him and Ray.

Ray liked him.

And maybe just maybe, he liked Ray. Because right now, he wouldn't change a thing. He was here, kissing Ray, and he really enjoyed it. Norman slowly pulled away. "Woah..." Ray said. "Yeah," Norman said.

They stared into each other's eyes. Norman couldn't help but smile, and Ray returned it. Norman's smile was always contagious. Norman kissed Ray again and again. Ray didn't know if this was actually real or if he was dreaming, but right now, he really believed Norman wanted to be with him.

"I really...like...you," Ray said in between kisses. Norman hummed in response. The kisses and kisses only stopped to catch their breath.

"Ray, I don't want to play with your feelings," Norman said. Ray was laying on his chest and he was playing with Ray's hair. "I know," Ray said. "I'll figure it out, okay? But...until then..wait for me? Please?" Norman asked. Ray closed his eyes. "Don't make me wait too long..." Ray said quietly.

"I won't."