"What do you mean she left?" I can't even recognise my own voice, it sounds so weak, so broken.
"Don't worry, she'll be back" they try to reassure me but I know better.
She's never wanted this life, the cameras, the money, the fame and most of all, the fans. I pushed her though, I thought I could be enough for her but I realise now how wrong I was.
I'm not sure how to move on though, how I'm supposed to go on with my life, a life without her seems so hollow.
"she has to come back" I let a sob leave my lips as I speak the words on my mind.
She was supposed to be mine forever, that's what this whole day is about, the promise of forever.
"I have to find her"
I'm halfway out the door before the words even leaves my lips and I can hear them call for me to stop but it's already too late.
I crash into a wall of paparazzi:
"Justin what's going on?"
"Did she leave you?"
"She found someone better?"
"You cheated on her?"
"She cheated on you?"
"Why did she leave?"
"You changed your mind?"
"I saw her leave with another man"
"We saw her kiss someone else"
"Is that why the wedding is off?"
"We always knew you wouldn't be able to keep her"
"You're better than her anyways"
"You didn't loose much"
"You can do way better"
"You'll never find someone like her again"
And that's the one sentence I choose to hang on to, because I know it's true, I will never, no matter how much I look, find someone like her again.
I hear a small sob leave my lips as I push my way through the crowd, determined to chase after the love of my life.
I run for hours, at least that's what it feels like. I can't think of a single place that I haven't looked at yet. But I can't give up.
"Justin?" I hear Ryan call for me and I fall to my knees, full on crying by now
"where would she go?" I don't think I've ever understood the term heartbreak quite as well as I do right now.
"Maybe she'll show up if you just give her some space, you know how she feels about all of this" he motions with his hand around us and for the first time I notice the crowd of fans standing in a small distance, watching with worried expressions, "she probably just freaked out" he finishes.
"I-I can't stop looking" I choke and he nods
"I'll help"
"We will too" a small female voice interrupts us and I lift my eyes to see a couple of girls with their phones in hands, looking back at me. "we'll ask others to help too, we can find her if we all look together, right?"
I didn't realise before but now I see the small tear sliding down her cheeks and her eyes shine with worry. They care so much and I am so grateful to have that connection with my fans, I don't know what I would do without them. Before I know it I'm up on my feet, pulling them both into a tight hug
"thank you" it comes out as barley a whisper but I know they heard as they both pull away with a smile one their lips.
"We'll find her" it's a silent promise and I hope with all my heart they're right.
***
My phone is going off like never before, they've seen her near the docks and I smile at the thought, she went there, where we had our first kiss. This give me hope that she might come back with me, that she might still be mine.
I see her right away, her dress giving her away even if I hadn't been able to point her out of a crowd with just the feeling I get when I see her. She's sitting down on the street, hugging her knees close and the shaking gives away her tears before I can even see them.
She turns to look at me before I can even call out her name and before I know it she's running into my arm
"Justin" she sobs and I tighten my arms around her "I'm so sorry, I-I couldn't, it was just too much, I didn't know what to do, I had to get away but I'm sorry." she's crying even more with each word and I can't say I'm doing any better.
"I know, I'm sorry I pushed you. I can't stand the thought of loosing you"
"You won't, I promise."
***
I look into her eyes, her smile wider than I have ever seen it and I know I have a matching one plastered on my lips.
"I do"
"I know pronounce you husband and wife, you may now kiss your bride"
and I do just that.
let me know what you think and leave a comment on who and what the next imagine should be about :*
Xx
