Like Any Other Day

I Spy My Ass

So that's how I found myself in the back room loading my cart so I can restock the shelves. The Backroom is also the copy room where we make people copies for a dollar a page and a dollar and twenty-five cents if you want it binded. But Paul always tells people the copy machine is down because he's too lazy to actually go and make copies. Since this is his aunties library and he  doesn't get in trouble for not printing people their research essays we assume we won't get in trouble either and follow suit. Yup, were just a bunch of lazy assholes. So the copy machine is mainly used for Paul's entertainment and printing copies of his ass and hiding it in secret places like in a pages of a book or on the bottom of the twelfth shelf or under the staircase. Paul likes to call it I Spy My Ass.

So far there has been no complaints from other people. All of us but Paul and Carter have been searching for these copies because we can all get in serious trouble. He says he's printed exactly a hundred copies of his ass but only ten has been found.

Books were being pushed through the return slot and into the bin. Carter was suppose to scan those books so that its officially returned in the system and put them on my cart. But Carter is spinning around the computer chair singing We Are The Champions on the top of his lungs using the scanner as his mic and getting tangled in the cord. There was no way this guy was hung over.

I scowled." Thought you were hung over."

"All a front for Janey Babe." He says with a smirk.

I roll my eyes. Obviously, he doesn't understand women as well as he thinks he does. Through the window that looks out to the library from the backroom, I can see Paul and Jane checking people their books out and Anthony helping a couple of College kids  find the books they need. I looked at the large pile of books not yet scanned and my full cart. Ugh.

"Hm. Obviously you don't know 'Janey Babe' at all. 'Cuz one, she wants a man and two, your a boy." I say as snatch the scanner out of his hands and do the job myself.

"Ha. That's where your wrong! this is part of my strategy. I come here looking like I came from a bomb ass party to show I am wanted by everyone but I will woo her with my poetry to show her I'm a sensitive man that understands her but I'm macho enough to protect her." Carter grins. I just stare till I can no longer hold it in and bust out laughing. The sound that comes out of my mouth sounds like a deflated balloon. But I don't care.

"Pffft! Hahaha! You!? Poetry?? What are you going to recite? Phenomenal Woman By Maya Angelou?" I mocked. I'm holding my stomach and my eyes are watering with laughter. Just the idea of Carter reciting Phenomenal Women to Jane is just so preposterous. Carter doesn't even like reading and Jane would definitely see right through his weak façade.

Now it was Carters turn to scowl. He snatches the scanner out of my hands and scans the books rapidly. He  places the books out of order and all clumsy-like then sends me out to restock. Asshole.

It takes me almost a half hour to separate the books into its correct order and than I take the outdated elevator upstairs to restock. Upstairs is where we keep the encyclopedias and other books used for research. Downstairs is the children's section and Young Adult reader section. Downstairs is mostly for entertainment. Where we hold book sales, public reading and sometimes slam poetry. Usually during the semester, upstairs is crowded with students cramming for exams, studying, researching, and writing essays. But now that it is summer its mostly empty.

I move over to the movie rental section where it was easier to restock. And made my way towards the book shelves. I found another Ass picture tucked behind a book Poster of the Twilight Saga. Eleven pictures down ninety-eight to go.

"Excuse me, ma'am" said a voice behind me.

I almost jumped out of my skin. I didn't expect anyone  up here with me. I turned around to find Paul looking at me with a disgruntled expression.