•did you get enough love, my little dove?•

prologue

August's POV

"Bye  bye, Rory. I wanna take you with me but..." I paused as I pulled my stuffed monkey into my arms one last time and squeezed her tightly. She didn't hug back of course, but feeling her soft fabric helped to keep me calm. "I have to be a big boy today." I muttered determinedly, tucking her back underneath my warn out comforter.

I got up from my small twin sized bed before leaning down to grab my old black converse and lacing them on my feet. I looked in the mirror one final time, pulling a strand of strawberry blonde hair that had fallen out of place back behind my ear. My hair was getting a little too long for my liking but mom couldn't afford a haircut right now. She cant ever afford anything, really.

Mom waitresses at a late night diner but her jobs never really stick around. She's either drunk at work, late, or leaving early so she gets fired a lot. Not to mention the fact that every time she gets a new boyfriend she quits her job.

We've lived in the same small, shack like house since I was born and even though it's a crap hole, our rent is always late. We can never afford air conditioning and heating or things like wifi and cable. Not that we'd need those things, I don't have a phone and the one small tv in the house stays in her room. I'm not really allowed in there.

All I really have is an old MP3 player that runs off of downloaded music. A few years ago I was able to download all of my favorite albums and songs while I was at a friends house. Her name was Brittany, she's not really my friend anymore but for a while we were really close. At least I thought we were. 

It turns out she was just using me to get popular. She told everyone that I was gay and that my mom was broke a few years ago. Ever since then I've been pretty isolated at school. People don't really like me that much now, but I get it. 

I'm weird, different from the other kids my age. For starters my best friend is my stuffed animal but, that's not all. I just don't share a lot of their interests. 

While everyone else my age can't wait to get older and get away from their parents, I just wanna stay young. I never got the coddled childhood that other kids did. I wasn't cared for or showed any love. 

I want that. I want to find people that care about me and don't forget that I'm around. If that's odd than I'm okay with being weird. I'm okay with not having friends and staying by myself. I just hope that one day I'll find people who'll love me. 

That probably wont happen though, so I can't keep my hopes on it.

I know there are people like me out there, littles I mean. Age regression is becoming more normal in society, just not in my town. 

Because my mom doesn't make much money, food is also a rare occasion at our house. Mom isn't very good at remembering that she has a child so she tends to spend the limited amount of money she has on drugs and alcohol. That might be why I'm so tiny for my age. That could be for a few reasons though, I guess.

Mom got pregnant with me on a one night stand, she slept with my father once and never saw him again. She wasn't very healthy after that, always getting drunk and smoking while she was pregnant with me. I'm not deformed or anything, I was just born a few months early, that's all. 

Two months and three days to be exact.

All it means is I'm a little bit shorter than regular fourteen year old males. Well, maybe a lot shorter. I'm only 4'7 while a lot of people my age are around five and a half feet tall already. Because of the whole premature thing, I also find it pretty difficult to gain weight so I'm pretty skinny, you can see the outline of my ribs, and I get cold really easily.