Past Forward ➤

7 • Continue

Araw araw sa pagkatok mo inaantay ko, araw araw yung mga pagkain na dinadala mo kinakain ko, naiisip mo lang na tinatapon ko kasi ginagawa ko yon dati, that's why I want to change, I have to changed para hindi makasama sayo yung mga hinanakit na nagawa ko sayo before.

Lahat ng client mo nanggaling sakin, I was there outside giving out flyrers para magkaroon ka ng maraming kliyente. And ako rin yung nagpapasok sayo sa Sample Company to make you my make up artist kasi hindi ko kayang hindi ka nakikita.

Nag-aalala ako, na kung ano na naman mangyari sayo, I can't see my life without you Sam. Araw araw akong nagtatanong kay Ced kung nililinis mo ba yung kwarto ko, kasi gusto ko ikaw maglinis nun kahit malinis na naman dun, at ikaw lang ang una at huling babaeng makakapasok don.
Ced knows that you can't remember me, that's why I make him your bodyguard kahit na napakalaking bagay iyon, pero para malaman ang mga ginagawa mo, kung safe ka ba and tama ang mga kinakain mo. Also alam mo ba yung mga iniinom mo na gamot?

"Oo, vitamins ko yun, binigay ni Ced sakin." Sagot ko.
"Pfft, hindi medicine mo yun na pinabili ko, pinrescribe yun ni Doc. I just told Ced to tell na Vitamins lang yun." Banggit niya.
At naalala mo ba yung babae na pumasok sa room ko? She's my cousin, anak siya ni Tito Alle, may pinaabot lang siya sakin tapos nagusap na kami.
And she told me na "Bakit mo naman inaaway si Sam, you're so harsh." Kasi hindi niya alam na hindi mo ako naalala.

Ayaw kong ipaalam sa kanila, kasi alam kong papalayuin ka nila sakin. Kaya ako na mismo ang nagpapakita sa kanila na nilalayuan kita, pero I secretly keep you, I secretly look at you from a far and I secretly love you.

I pretended I didn't remember you, I pretended I didn't know you, because I want  you, to lay in bed, suffering alone. I can't imagine you suffering alone and not waking up. And seeing your pale skin and unconscious. I get up every night to look at you. I sometimes dare you to wake up so that we can drink coffee at our favorite coffee shop once more. That's why I always have a cup of coffee beside me, because Ialways remember you with this coffee. I keep waiting for you to come to me and pick it up, drink it, and tell me you remember me.

I-its hard to pretend that I don't know anything about us, lagi akong nag-iinom tuwing gabi, at tinitignan ang litrato natin dalawa. Kaya naman siguro ito na ang tamang panahon para sabihin ang mga bagay na hindi ko masabi at magawa. I'm very sorry Sam, I know I've been such a jerk to you, but I promise you I've changed, I've changed while you're in a hospital and while I'm pretending to not know you. I'm sorry and I-i still love you, I still care for you." He said. Tears, pain, sweat. I want to hug him.

"I'm sorry babe, I-I didn't know anything about this. I-i didn't know I'm sick. I didn't know na nahihirapan ka pala just to protect me, hindi ko alam na pumunta ka sa coffee shop. Tang*na wala akong maalala!!" (Sob sob) Lagi akong naiiyak dahil lang sa nagseselos ako. Pero hindi ko alam na ito na pala yung pinakamasakit na maiiyak ako sa buong buhay ko, hindi ko alam na ganito kasakit magmahal ng walang naalala. Hindi ko alam na sobra na kitang nasaktan.
Sa sobrang hikbi ko, paputol putol na ang sinasabi ko..

"Ga-ga-win ko la-hat, lahat ng mga dinulot kong sakit sayo, aalalahanin ko lahat. Gusto kong maka-alala ulit Enzo, gusto kitang maalala ulit. Gusto kong maalala kung pano tayo nagkakilala. Kung pano naging tayo, at kung paano tayo nagdate sa coffee shop na yun. I can't imagine that I didn't know you. It make sense now to me, it is like whenever I see you I feel like I've known you for so long. I feel like giving you something that I'd never gave you before, and that was me, my memories and my love for you." I said
"Shh, it's okay now that we're okay, are you going to leave me again?" He said.

"NO NEVER!" I shout.

"Okay okay. Thank you and I love you my Sammy"

"i will make you remember everything we had, everything since the first time we met." He said. Habang niyayakap niya ako ngayon sa kaniyang malalaking braso at puno ng warmth and love. And while I'm here still crying at blanko pa ang utak, actually matagal na pala itong blanko, lalagyan na ni Enzo ito ng laman na puno ng pagmamahal at saya, hehe.