My Therapy Book

The 3 Guys I Like -1

-P.s., All of the pictures in this book are mine, I took the photos-

-Song- Notion, The Rare Occasions-

For the sake of my his privacy, I'm going to call this guy Greg.

Greg has been a part of my life since I was like 6.

He was our neighbor, until he moved away when I was 11. He was mostly my sister's friend, (We are gonna call her Jaya), And what I mean by that is he met Jaya first, and he was generally regarded as Jaya's friend. We weren't not friends, its just he was closer to Jaya.

I started liking him in the 5th grade. I really fell for his eyes, they are this beautiful blue that I could stare at forever. And also his hair. I fucking LOVE his hair. I have a thing for blonds and red heads, and he has these fucking blonde locks that i wanna run my fingers through 24/7.

But the thing about Greg is that he's first of all, out of my league, like I look like a fucking cereal box, and I'm just standing looking at him like, "How the fuck you got abs at 14?!". 

Second of all, I'm pretty sure he smokes weed, which might sound normal to you guys, but I'm Christian, I ain't got time for drugs and shit, I have a future planned, I'm going to collage. I might be over reacting, but my whole family has done and/or does drugs and I've witnessed many stories regarding drug abuse unfold, including my uncle's story, who is a recovering heroine addict. My uncle was like my dad for most of my life, since my dad left when I was like 4. And most drug stories begin with weed. Weed turns to ecstasy, ecstasy can turn into anything from pills to crack/cocaine, to heroine to meth.

I know I sound like a Karen, but sorry, I quite simply don't fuck around with drugs. Sorry.

And third of all, I'm pretty sure he likes my sister, and I tested the theory a bit ago when I got his Instagram and DMed him wanting to catch up, (My sister and I started being homeschooled ever since I was 11). So I DMed him, and I told him that my sister didn't believe it was him and to send a pic, and he did, and he sent a shirtless pic, (Well technically he wasn't shirtless, he had a jacket on with out any thing under it, but you know what I mean).

So yeah. This whole situation pisses me off, because I know I'm overreacting, and he is never going to like me, but I can never get him out of my head. I just wish I could just let him go. He led me to one of my favorite sports, skating, which I started doing to get his attention, but now I do because I like it, and it makes me feel free.

Alright, I'm done ranting. 

The reason I chose the song I did was because of the first line:

"Sure it's a calming notion,

Perpetual in motion, 

But I don't need the comfort,

of any lies,

For I have seen the ending,

and there is no ascending,

Rise~"

I feel like this describes our relationship from my perspective pretty well.

Probably not from his perspective tho, his song would prolly be "Fuck this shit I'm out", idk, its a meme, look it up.

Alright, I'm done, see ya later.