Before You

19: marley

I barely got any sleep last night. I spent the entire night replaying every look, touch, and word that's come from JJ. The bags under my eyes show how exhausted I am and it doesn't matter how many cups of tea I drink, I'm exhausted.

He told me that he loves me.

The thought makes me giddy but also sick to my stomach with confusion because...I love him too. It took everything in me not to immediately say it back to him, but it's the missing feeling I never had with Trent.

It's the same feeling I had in France with JJ.

It didn't help matters that my mom and Aunt Tessa came to the football game with me and Bria; thankfully, JJ left enough tickets for us. My dad unfortunately has to check on the branch his company has out here and Grayson went with him, but they'll be back tonight.

He was incredible on the field. His reflexes like lightning and I couldn't take my eyes off of him. A couple of times I could have sworn he looked right back, but with the distance and the helmets it's hard to be sure.

We agreed to meet for ice cream an hour after the game. I'm ten minutes early due to my perpetual fear of being late, but I'm pleasantly surprised to see JJ has already claimed a table and is fiddling with a small bouquet of daisies lying in his lap.

I smile immediately and the confusion that my brain has been fighting all but disappears. Everything possible has been stopping us from being able to feel our feelings guilt free. Time, distance, other relationships, but none of that has been able to reduce the love that I think we have for each other.

I only hope that love is enough.

When he sees me, he stands up and I boldly greet him with a kiss on the cheek. JJ seems a little starry eyed after, but manages to recover quickly.

"That was some hello. These are for you," He says, offering me the cheerful flowers.

"I love them, thank you but you didn't have to. You already gave me flowers last night." I say, taking a seat in my chair and JJ smiles.

"I know I didn't have to, but I wanted to."

That smile combined with his sweet words is a dangerous combination and I think I just went into cardiac arrest.

Someone call 911. My prospective boyfriend just killed me with kindness.

His hand grazes mine and the jolt of electricity restarts the beating in my chest. How did I ever try to deny us of this connection? Things with Trent felt absolutely nothing similar to this; not even in the same galaxy.

"I feel like I should have gotten you flowers. You played an amazing game today."

His smile widens. "Thank you. It means a lot coming from you and even more that you came. It was a bit of an unfair matchup today with a lot of opportunities to score so I'm afraid not every game is going to be like the one earlier." I have absolutely no idea what any of that means. My family wasn't much of a football family and I always sorta tuned Trent out when he started talking about it. It's almost like JJ can sense that what he is saying is complete gibberish to me and he changes the topic. "Thank you for coming to the game and here."

My cheeks flush under the weight of his stare. "I wouldn't have missed it."

"How did you sleep?"

I shrug, playing with one of the petals from a flower. "Not the best. Had a lot on my mind."

"Even after we spoke?" JJ asks, concern warping his face. The flowers in front of me suddenly become very interesting. I don't know why this is hard for me to talk about. It shouldn't be. I think my feelings for JJ is the least complicated thing in my life and it's still difficult to vocalize. "Marley?"