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This is Yoplait Coco. She is a 54 years old dwarf and she's a stripper. She just got out of a relationship with Lord Farquaad, she was supposed to marry him but it just didn't work out. Lord Farquaad just got married with Fiona (what a bitch), she was in love with Shrek but it was an forbidden love. Yoplait and Shrek don't know each other...yet. Of course he heard about her since she was engaged to Farquaad, but he never actually met her. Her very good friend, Bruno, works as a bartender at 'The Maroon 5 Bar", the strip club she works at. They don't actually play any Maroon 5 songs there, the person who created it must have been a fan. Her name is Yoplait Coco and this is her story. One thing you might not know though, is that Yoplait is, in fact, me. Dun dun dunnnn......
.Yoplait's pov.
I was in my bedroom, listening to the Bee Movie soundtrack while counting my spoons when suddenly, I heard a loud noise. I ran downstairs to the living room to check if anything fell, but nothing. I jumped when my very good friend started shouting my name in the kitchen. I didn't expect to see him right now.
"YOYOOOOOOO" He screamed with a smile on his face. "Guess what!"
"Well, someone seems to be in a good mood." I chuckled, still frightened. "I am, you'll never guess why!" Okay, this guessing game started to get on my nerves. I'm not Sherlock but I sure am on my period. "You're right, I'll never guess. Spill."
"You sure you don't want to gue-"
"I will choke you."
"All right...I'm telling you, you're not ready!" he seemed very exited about this big news. "Well...we have a new stripper at work and this stripper is...Shrek!" who the fuck?
"I'm sorry, who?" I questioned, confused. "Shrek!" he said enthusiastically. "Don't tell me you don't know him!" I gave him an innocent smile and shrugged.
"Okay, he's a famous stripper. He shows his ass and moves his hips better than anyone else." Now that's how you get my attention.
I gave him a confused look, still not knowing who the fuck he was talking about. "I can't believe you! Well, you're meeting him tonight!" he seemed so happy about that and I felt bad for just feeling horny.
"All right now leave cause I'm gonna change" I said pushing him to the door. "Really? Nothing I haven't seen before..." he said with a flirty tone. "Stop trying to act straight. The only reason I ever let you see me in my underwear is because I know you suck dick." he was finally out the door and I closed it.
___________
It was already 9:00 pm, the club opened its doors. I was in the changing room with the other strippers when I saw a handsome man walking in. He was tall, had curves, a beautiful olive skin, trumpets-like ears and...damn...he had an ass. An ass that looked like two watermelons meeting each other. If I wasn't right next to Brenda (a bitch), it would've been cum-cum pants city down there. I figured he must've been this Shrek Bruno told me about. I got off my chair to go talk to the gigantic man.
